During a sexual drought, an ex-girlfriend can look like a tall glass of water. You’re thirsty, she’s available, and she smells just as nice as she used to. She probably even feels just as nice as she used to. But all of her appeal is a mirage. The fact that you love your ex, you miss your ex, or that you are miserable without your ex is never a good reason to get back together.
Your mind will trick you into thinking anything just to avoid the pain of breakup. So, I won’t believe anything that your mind that tells you after the breakup.
She treated you like crap
You know those girl friends of yours who keep running back to their slimy ex because the sex is good, the ones who leave you shaking your head and repeating the same advice over and over again? You’d be surprised how often that person is actually a man. Women aren’t always the innocent party when a relationship falls apart. Sometimes it’s her unyielding iron fist that made it crumble.
It makes you look desperate
People hate to say this, but sex can carry an element of power. It can be used as a weapon, in this case, of self-destruction. If she left you, and you go back to her for a few rounds of bump and grind, even if you tell her it means nothing (and it really does mean nothing), she will still have the smug satisfaction of knowing it was so good you came crawling back for it. Don’t give her that, because we both know she doesn’t deserve it.
One or both of you is dating someone else
Really? You’re going to taint a perfectly good, new relationship to have another taste of Ms. Old Thing over there? In what alternate universe is that the sensical thing to do? If we were near you right now, we’d slap you.
You broke up with her
You broke her heart once, asshole, are you really going to do it again? When she bursts into tears mid-orgasm, we’re not even going to feel bad for you. We’ll just laugh, because really, you should have known better than to toy with her emotions.
She broke up with you
Being flawed human beings (all of us), we tend to misread signals in our favor. You may think this is a cool move because you’re so over how she suddenly woke up one day and just stopped loving you (out of nowhere!), but she will see it a final play to win back her affections. And really, if you search within yourself, you might find that she’s right. Just say no to using your penis to win a woman back. For one, it won’t work. And truly, you (and your penis) deserve better.
You’re not on the same page
Hooking up with an ex is like walking into a burning house and expecting to leave without a burn, or at the very least, a serious case of smoke inhalation. It’s just not going to happen. Chances are, you won’t be on the same page. You’ll have good intentions (“Sex and just sex!”, you’ll swear to one another), but things will inevitably get awkward and messy.
You won’t be as over her as you think you are, or she won’t be as over you as she’d like to be, and before you know it, you’ve fully unearthed all of the issues you took months to bury, and one or both of you end up hurt. Don’t willingly get entangled in that web. Walk away—we repeat—walk away.
It’s not Healthy
Look at you, you’re a hard-working, responsible guy. You take your vitamins (two different kinds!), you floss, and you jog even though it makes you feel like your knees are going to fall off. Why then would you go and do something as unhealthy as hooking up with your ex? Seems kinda counterintuitive, doesn’t it?
A smart, well-adjusted dude wouldn’t invite drama into this life and willingly disrupt his mental serenity. Sex with an attractive woman is wonderful, but this one happens to come with as many strings as there are strands of hair attached to her head. Despite your best intentions, getting naked together will trudge up all of those memories the ugly ones, the beautiful ones, and the really ugly ones. Give your ex a hug, wish her well, and be on your way, because in the end, that’s the best decision you can make for your mental health.