A woman has revealed how conflict ensued in her family following the unexpected deaths of her cousin and brother who died together in a car accident.
Her aunty is blaming the writer’s brother because he was the one who was driving and is totally against a joint funeral which the writer’s mum had suggested.
Read the rest of her confession below:
On December 17, my brother (22) and our cousin (23) were travelling together and got into a fatal car accident. My brother died on the scene. My cousin was transported to the hospital where she died a couple of hours later. Her parents, my mom’s sister and her husband did not get a chance to see her before she died. They are blaming my brother for causing the accident because he was the one driving. We don’t actually know what caused the accident other than bad weather conditions, because my cousin wasn’t coherent enough to tell the paramedics what had happened.
My mom wants to have a joint funeral for the two of them because they were very close anyway, and the majority of the attendees would be the same people at each funeral if we had two separate ones, and this way we can all grieve together for the same accident. My mom is also being really stoic and practical about all this which is really upsetting my aunt. She hasn’t stopped crying for three days and feels like my mom “doesn’t care that your son killed my daughter”. She is very against having the joint funeral because she doesn’t think that my cousin should have to “share” memorial services with my brother, who she feels is the reason my cousin is dead. So my mom and my aunt basically can’t have a conversation about this at all and no decisions have been made. Meanwhile the entire extended family has stopped everything they were planning for the holidays and are just waiting to find out what we’re supposed to do for the funerals.
My uncle told me that doesn’t think either my mom or my aunt are in their right minds right now, understandably, but that someone needs to make a decision about the funeral arrangements. He said that I was the person in the family that knew both my brother and my cousin the best and asked me what I thought they would’ve wanted. I have no idea what either of them would’ve wanted, I assume it would’ve been to not die at 22 and have their families rip themselves apart over it.
I don’t know what decision to make that is right and will help everyone instead of making everything worse. Can anyone give me any advice? Also just to clarify I don’t have a dad, that’s why he’s not mentioned here.
Source: Reddit