Love is a beautiful thing and we all crave for it. Manoeuvring the dating pool in Nairobi in this generation is a hard task. Woe unto you if you’re single right now because these are the seven types of men you will mostly come across:
- The Good Guy
When it comes to the debate on good guys vs bad guys, the verdict shows that good guys always finish last. He who laughs last laughs best after all. Their come up is not easy at all as most of the time girls they like are into bad boys. Sorry boys, in their defence, it’s just a phase. While we have the real good guy, we have his copycat who isn’t good in nature, but for show. They use it as a way to lure women. He can even join a church just to swindle women into loving him.
The good guy can intimidate anyone with his accomplishments and for lack of better words, goody-goody two shoes. They do good deeds such as volunteer work just for the gram. If it isn’t on the gram did it even happen?
2. The Player
This type of man needs no introduction. If you’re from Nairobi you probably met him at 1824 or Jiweke Tavern over the weekend. Reality check, that wasn’t his first time there, he is there almost every other day. This man probably has a Subaru and talks the ‘you guy, my guy’ type of talk. If he’s not in the club over the weekend, he’s driving to Vasha with his boyz for nyake’s and has boti’s of Jameson in the back seat. Trust me honey, you don’t want this type of man. This one will leave you for the hottest honey who will look his way.
The worst part of dating the player is that he has several women on call whenever he needs them. Most players have something going for them either a gigantic penis or the looks, the beard and the height. This makes them somewhat irresistible to many women. He probably has saved several women on his phone with different emoji’s alongside their names. It’s also always on silent and has like ten million passwords.
Calling this man out of the blue is a hopeless endeavour. He calls you, get that in your head! He thrives in situationships which are not defined. He drops anyone who nags him for a title for their relationship.
3. The Inconsistent Guy
Inconsistency is the mother of all crazy women and we know it. Women crave for constant attention as it makes them feel worthy. People put in work for what they care about so when you come across this man, run for the hills. He will approach you with the smoothest words and his mannerisms for the first few weeks will have you planning your wedding in your head. His charm is so irresistable that you will brag to your friends about him. He checks out all the boxes, from pulling out chairs for you during dates and opening doors for you. He is a literal dream.
Unfortunately, this man doesn’t last long and his facade quickly sheds. He will frustrate you with his failed plans and rainchecks. After seeming super interested he will ghost you and blame it on life when he reappears months later.
4. The No Initiative Guy
Right off the bat, this one has no future plans with you. He’s perfect if you’re looking for a quick lay and a dick-straction but if you’re like me and want to start building an empire with your bae you’re better off single honey. This guy is all talk and no action. He’s always asking, ‘ when will I see you’ but never makes plans to do so.
You would assume he’s stingy but really, he just doesn’t want to spend his money on you because he doesn’t intend on going far with you. He’s probably jobless and living at home with his parents and only ever talking about his friends and how they drink and party. He doesn’t seem to have any goals or ambition in life. You are only around to take the pressure of life off him when he sees his friends going to greater heights.
5. The Insecure guy
If this list doesn’t teach you anything, it should teach you that the insecure guy will be the hardest to deal with. From his demeanour to his words, his insecurities shine. This fella thinks every man wants to take you from him. From exes to acquaintances, nobody’s safe and he will fight anyone looking at you funny. He has no chills. The worst part is that it will be your job to talk him out of his fears which is no easy task.
This guy doesn’t want you wearing that little outfit when you go out with your girls. You could wear a buibui and he will still hold back. He’s always ready to start an argument when you want to go out without him, just to lessen your urge to go. Either way he wins.
6. The emotionally draining guy
A man with a bruised ego is a dangerous man. Emotionally draining men feed off your insecurities and fears. They are not in tune with their own emotions so dealing with yours on top turns into a nightmare. They would rather leave you crying than try and make things better. This guy will probably opt to hang out with his boyz over you.
7. The ‘Netflix and Chill’ guy
This guy will call you at odd hours in the night asking you to come over. On some rare times he will bring himself over, he will most likely do it at night and straight from the club. Don’t mistake this for love honey, he just ran out of options. You aren’t special, you’re just an itch he needed to scratch.
When they invite you over, its always under the pretence of watching Netflix. Forget about going out on actual dates with this man, or even to the club because thats not what they have you for. Chances are that role is already taken. Yours is the regular booty call. The chill in ‘netflix and chill’ is the period after sex before you have to go home.