Fidel Odinga, known to many was a pillar, the glue that held his family together, a sweet boy who couldn’t hurt a fly. To friends, he was a consummate businessman, loyal, the soul of the party. Fidel was described as a kind man, a philanthropist who reached into his wallet and ‘sorted’ you without asking too many questions, and without caring from which tribe you hailed.
Indeed, the Odinga’s certainly took a few pages from the golden playbook that enabled them to raise such a pragmatic chap! I mean, didn’t Fidel always leave you with an ear-to-ear smile as well as leave you with a hearty laugh?
So how did the Odinga’s do it? How did they mould the late Fidel into a figure of confidence? We look into some of the amazing techniques that old-man Raila most-likely used to create the icon that was Fidel!
He Was His Son’s No 1 Fan!
How many times have you heard a story of success that someone had in life that all began because someone believed in that person? Raila had it in mind that words are powerful. He used them to build up Fidel, by telling him that he could do it even if he had to try again and again.
As a Parent, you should be a support system by being your children’s cheerleader. Cheerleaders don’t just cheer when the team is winning. They cheer words of encouragement to keep the team going. The same goes with children. We need to cheer for their successes, but also cheer for them to keep going and fighting the fight when life gets tough!
He gave Fidel freedom to Make his own choices
Keep in mind that there’s a high possibility Raila didn’t force Fidel to keep trying. Fidel had to do it himself. If your child begins an activity and wants to quit mid-season because they are terrible at the sport, you have the opportunity to keep them in the sport through the end of the season to show them that quitting is not an option.
Although they may not win another tennis match the rest of the season or win another swimming race all year long, finishing the commitment is important. It will help with the development of character by teaching them to persevere through the defeat. It is spirit building.
If your child is great at all things all the time, they will not develop grit. They need to try things that challenge them. When they aren’t the best at something, or for that matter, the worst, it creates an opportunity for them feel real struggle. Real struggle builds real character.
He Let Him Craft His Mental Toughness
Fidel was allowed to fail at things in life. Raila did not swoop in and rescue him from his personal failures. If he never failed, then he couldn’t have had the opportunity to pick himself up and try again.
Failure is embarrassing. Learning to handle embarrassment is taking on a fear. When kids learn to do this at a young age, it is practice for adult life. They will experience failure as an adult. They will be better equipped to handle life’s disappointments and failures if they have learned to handle the fear of embarrassment and failure when they are young.
Practice builds up the skill. Processing and handling fear, embarrassment, and failure are skills. Learning the value of practice and how to preserve through the fear and failure are priceless lessons. We may want to rescue our children because we want them to be successful at the things that they do, but how will they be successful in this competitive world as adults if they are provided with only opportunities in which they succeed?
He taught him Never to Give Up
The Late Fidel was never a quitter; he would always try again and again.
Indeed, if he felt like hanging his boots, old man Odinga would probably push him to the finishing line. Life is hard. If we quit the first time we tried at things, we would never amount to anything in life. We need to teach our children that trying again is simply part of life.
Help them to give it a go by providing encouragement and support. Offer to practice with them, provide them with tutoring or coaching if necessary whatever it takes to get them back on the proverbial horse and trying again.
Taught him how to Divide and Conquer
Fidel was one known to organize an activity down to the bone. Heck, even if it was a party, Fidel would ensure that every nitty grityy of the function was handle exceptionally well; a common trait for most of our brothers from the lakeside!
Indeed, we can clearly see Raila’s intelligent hand that allowed Fidel to cultivate such an air of organization.
Sometimes failure occurs because they are trying something all at one time and they haven’t mastered the smaller components. Help your child try again by breaking down what it is they are trying to achieve. Not all skills come easy for kids. Helping them learn the skill of breaking things down into manageable tasks is another way we teach them about grit.
They are learning to build skills by persisting, practicing, and building upon previous experience, knowledge, and skills. Grit is put into practice in childhood when they learn how to break down large tasks into smaller achievable tasks in order to build toward a greater goal.
He let him find his Passion
Fidel was always a confident man because Raila left him to follow his true purpose in life.
Your child may be a wonderful pianist. However, if they aren’t passionate about the skill, then they likely won’t be happy or fulfilled in becoming a concert pianist. It’s great to help your child discover their talents, but also let them discover what they are passionate about in life.
True success will come because they are passionate about the activity, not because they are the best. The best usually become that way because they are passionate first. Therefore, let your child experience a variety of activities and interests so that they can discover what they love to do.
Praised His Efforts, Not the Outcome
Praising their efforts keeps them motivated and trying. If you focus on outcome, then when they fail, they will become defeated and discouraged. Focusing on the fact that they tried hard and pointing out specific ways that they did well in terms of effort will support them in trying again.
When you make a habit of focusing on outcome, then failures are avoided at all costs, including taking risks. Risks are needed in order to become successful. Therefore, make a habit of praising their efforts, even when the outcome is not what they had hoped and tried for, because eventually, if they keep trying their efforts will result in success.
Raila was a Model of Grit
Last but not least, Raila raised a gentle giant with love, affection, and grit.
If you are a parent or a caregiver for a child, then you are a model to that child. Children naturally look up to the adults in their life that are closest to them, especially their parents. They will look at your ability to persevere and achieve. Your grit will show.
Your children are watching. They may not know the term grit, but they will learn about working hard, not giving up, trying again after failure, and all that grit entails from your actions. How you handle life is being watched by your children.
Helped Him Develop a Growth Mindset
Helping your child develop a growth mindset is also helpful to your child in their development of grit. Basically, what it means is that if you have a fixed mindset, you will fear failure and easily give up. Someone with a growth mindset believes that their talents, skills, and abilities can be improved with hard work and learning. Parents and caregivers can help with the development of a growth mindset.