Growing up in your parents’ house basically means it’s their way or the highway. And for people with strict parents, that translated into a lot of rules.
After Redditor alfred_the_whale asked “What’s the weirdest rule you had in your home growing up?” people shared all the strange things that their parents wanted them to do and not do during their childhoods.
Here are some of the nuttiest.
Aren’t you glad we’re all grown up?
This complete and total ban on seasoning
Salt was for guests only. The actual use of spices was very very looked down on and seen as a huge insult to my mom and dad even though they were absolutely horrid cooks.
This smart way to end persistent questioning.
My dad made up a rule to stop my big brother from asking about getting a dog every ten seconds. We had neighbors on both sides who had dogs, so the rule was that only every other house could have a dog. My brother believed it for a looonnnngg time- TwinLinds
This mom’s ideas about leading someone on.
I couldn’t recline or lay my body down AT ALL if my boyfriend was over. My mom thought that me laying down would give them “thoughts” so I couldn’t do it. Once I put my feet up on the couch while my FIANCÉ was over and my mom got pissed and thought I was trying to turn him on.
—OverallDisaster
This awful death that probably isn’t possible (but maybe we shouldn’t take any chances from here on out…).
My grandmother said not to shit during a lightning storm because a bolt of lightning might strike the pipe and electrocute me.
—pavlovs_bog
This mom’s sunny outlook on her child’s future.
I wasn’t allowed to put sugar in my tea because my mum told me that when you go to prison they don’t let you have sugar, so it will makes prison that much harder.
Thanks for having so much faith in me mum.
I’m pretty sure you are allowed sugar for your tea in prison.
—Griff-Man17
This man’s bun privilege (but not man-bun privilege!).
My dad had diverticulosis (pockets in the intestine) and couldn’t eat sesame seeds (among other things). When we would eat fast food sandwiches, everyone had to give their bottom buns to Dad, in exchange for his top buns. So all my life I grew up eating burgers with 2 top, seeded buns.
This was never explained, and it was from before I born, so it was literally when I was in college that I realized that it wasn’t normal. I thought it was just Dad-Privilege TM to have 2 bottom buns.
—LtheDutch
This household’s attempt to make food-grabbing a fair game.
At my friend’s house they had a “no pizza-balling” rule.
There were 3 teenage brothers and when they ordered pizzas (at least a couple larges), tempers flared quickly when people would try to grab as many slices as they could.
The first rule in place was that you couldn’t have more than one slice at a time, and you could grab another once you had the last bite in your mouth. But one of the brothers quickly figured it out that if you ball up a slice he could fit it in his mouth and grab another one. Hence, no pizza-balling.
This severe directive.
If you come home at night and the doors locked (even if I have a key ) find some where else to sleep.
—MaxAutism
This mom being a control freak about her child’s spending.
I could only buy things if I was buying them for a birthday or Christmas gift for somebody else. Mind you, this was my own money I earned from my job. My mom knew how long it took to get home from school, so if I stopped at the store, she knew and I’d be in trouble.
—melindseyme
This ridiculously early bedtime.
Bed time was 7pm until I was in my teens. I didn’t realise other kids had much later bedtime until I was a teenager. I think it was mostly because my mum’s favourite soapy comes on at 7pm… We were noisy kids —Daddyssillypuppy
This positively effing wonderful decree.
Cursing Thursdays. You could say whatever you wanted with no consequences. Had someone stay over who knew the rule, opened my parents bedroom and said “goodnight motherfuckers”
—carson2210
This dad’s confusion about where they lived.
“I wasn’t allowed to wear my hat backwards because my dad thought that it was a gang thing. Mind you, this was in rural area in the ’90s. My parents are wonderful people, they just may not have had the best understanding of the world at that time.”
—Youcanthearjimmy
This fancy weirdness.
We had silverware with roses on it. Our thumbs had to be on the rose when we used the utensils or we’d have to “practice” after dinner.
Utensils couldn’t make any noise against your teeth or you’d have to practice after dinner.
—2boredtocare