Research indicates that many separations experienced are due to financial issues. Why? Because the issues are far more that the finance itself.
When you argue about finance, the argument always goes deeper than finance and goes emotional, which ultimately leads to break ups.
If you look deeper, when you argue about money, you’re arguing about your beliefs, values, and goals in life. Money also tends to magnify the levels of power and trust in your relationship. Which often cause relationships to split.
Values
The way you spend and save money is a reflection of your values and priorities. Your partner’s spending can make it seem like they don’t have the same priorities as you.
For example, if your partner spends a lot on going out to eat, but you want to use that money to save for the kids’ college expenses, there is a conflict in values expressed by how each of you wants to use the money.
Beliefs
Everyone develops a set of money beliefs based on past experiences. Whether you realize it or not, the way you were raised has an impact on how you think about and use money.
And if you and your partner have contrasting money beliefs, it can affect your relationship. Sometimes even causing a split over money.
For example, maybe your partner believes money should be used for status, while you think money should be used to create security. Or perhaps you want the kids to have the best of everything, and your partner believes that will spoil them.
Trust
Almost ⅓ of spouses admit to lying to their partners about money. They spend secretly, hide cash, or lie about their bills (or debt). When couples are dishonest about money, and hide their money problems, it’s difficult for them to trust each other in all areas of the relationship.
Power
Power differences in relationships are often related to money. And whether these power differences are real or perceived doesn’t matter if they cause problems in the relationship.
Maybe one partner earns more than the other. Or one takes care of all the financial planning and bills. When one partner feels powerless, and out of the loop, resentment and conflict can occur.
Debt
Debt can be overwhelming. Though debt in itself isn’t an emotional issue, it can and does cause high levels of stress. If you aren’t able to deal with the stress and debt as a couple, it’s bound to take a toll on your relationship.