Most people have been conditioned to believe that bigger is better — particularly with hair, portion sizes and penises.
However, the notion that bigger is always better is generally false, especially when it comes to the male genitalia. Studies suggest that, other than a boost in confidence, larger penises don’t afford the men who have them with any extra prowess in the bedroom.
The truth is, no matter what someone’s penis size, creativity and a willingness to experiment can be key. But there are some positions and techniques that are specially suited for various sizes of penises.
So for those of you who have sex with people who have penises, we consulted four experts on the art and science of pleasure: Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, head researcher and professor of human sexuality at New York University; Kenneth Play, a sex educator based in Brooklyn who leads workshops on kink and pleasure; Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure; and Alfred Kendrick, a personal trainer who specializes in workouts that improve your sex life.
They’ve helped us create a handy guide of sex positions and tricks that will finally lay the “small” penis stereotype to rest.
Sofa Side Saddle
The key to intensifying sex with a smaller penis (or dildo) is finding positions that provide deeper penetration, says Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, a Toronto-based sexologist. She suggests side saddle, which not only allows for full penetration, but helps the penis or dildo make unparalleled contact with the sides of the vaginal walls, writes O’Reilly in The New Sex Bible.
Try having the penetrative partner sit on the edge of a couch in the living room, as the receptive partner lowers their body all the way down over their lover’s penis or dildo. Having sex on the sofa, rather than the bed, is an easy way to “spice things up in the bedroom” — by getting out of the bedroom.
Missionary Anal
“I call [small penises] ‘anal-friendly’ penises,” Play says. Since the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, it can be tricky to make sure someone’s prepped and ready to enjoy anal — and smaller penises mean less stretching is needed, so anal can be more comfortable for the receiving partner.
To get into missionary anal position, you first have to warm up the anus properly with liberal use of lube and foreplay involving fingers, butt plugs, anal beads, or all three. Then, have the receiving partner lift their bottom (adding a pillow if needed) and manoeuvre together to find the right angle of anal insertion.
Pile Driver
This one requires some flexibility and might work better on a carpeted floor. Lay on your back. Then, swing your legs back and over your head to get your feet close to the ground. Your partner can help by lifting your butt up and over. (If you practice yoga, this is the one called “plow pose.”) Then, your partner squats on top of you and enters you from above.
“If the guy can get positioned over [his partner], he doesn’t have to do that much work, just hold himself up,” Kendrick says. Bonus points if you spread your legs — that’s called the Spread Eagle.
Splitting Bamboo
Want to really get the legs out of the way? Lay down on your back with one leg draped over your partner’s shoulder or around his waist, while he straddles the other leg and enters you. It’s full-on contact, with your legs out of the way so he can get all the way inside. Plus, you have access to your clit to add a little something extra for yourself with your hands.
Use your fingers
An unforgettable sexual experience often involves more than just penetration, especially since it’s actually the norm to need more than just a penis to get off. A 2006 study, for example, found that only 30% of the 1,335 women surveyed regularly reached orgasm with penetration alone.
“We are a very penetration-centric culture — we think penetration is the end-all, be-all of sex, but it isn’t,” says Dr. Zhana. “Many women say it feels better, it contributes to their orgasm, but there’s [often] more that needs to happen.”
According to Play, most people think friction alone causes the type of intense pleasure that gathers into an orgasm, but it’s actually the pressure (like a massage) that takes it to the next level — and fingers are great for that, Play says.
Flexed Doggy Style
Start with doggy style, where you are on your hands and knees and your partner is kneeling behind you. Then, drop your chest and head to the bed and tilt your butt up in the air — the more you curve your back, the better. Then, your partner moves his knees a couple inches back so he can tilt his pelvis forward.
“In that position, the guy is able to push his hips forwards enough to penetrate [his partner],” Kendrick says.
Propped Reverse Cowgirl
In this position, your partner is lying down with a pillow underneath his butt (this will press his hips forward and expose more of the penis) and you’re sitting on top of him but facing toward his feet.
“The great thing about it is that the [person on top] can control the movement of [their] pleasure,” Kendrick says. “In a normal position, the legs would get in the way.”
Side Cowgirl
Again, you are in cowgirl (no pillow under your partner’s butt this time) and you simply swing your legs over to one side, with your hands behind you on the other side of your partner’s body.
“Your butt cheeks and [thighs] will drop down in the crevice in his legs, allowing for much deeper penetration,” Kendrick says.
The High Dive
Have your partner lay with his hips and legs on the bed, but his torso back-bending off the bed. Then climb on top in Cowgirl. This forces his hips forward, which helps with penetration, Kendrick says.
Just keep in mind that a guy should be hard and ready to go before taking this position. It’s difficult to get an erection when his blood is flowing away from his penis.
Men with small D always feels the need to compensate for what they don’t have. So you can easily tell your man to try new things that will be fun for both of you.
Would you try these positions? Drop your comments, like and share.