It has been heard before that no one should take drinks from strangers, more so ladies. The moral fabric of society has become questioning these days accepting drinks from a man could leave you beaten and/or raped.
Many girls have probably had an experience in the hands of aggressive men who insist that buying drinks means consent. They proceed to get handsy without invitation and any resistance is met with aggression. This entitlement to women’s bodies has often ended with the woman at the mercy of a drunk and deluded man.
One lady went through a nasty experience, well accroding to the information she shared in her twitter handle. @ItsLynne’s twitter thread reveals that she was leaving Mercury Lounge at ABC Place Westlands when she saw an altercation between this young girl and a heavyset man. This drew her attention and prompted her to intervene since the girl was in distress.
The heavyset man got physically violent with her, dragging her by the hair towards his car before Lynne confronted him. His reason for the violence, he bought her drinks worth Ksh 7,000 and now, she had to repay. Lynne, baffled by this claim, offered to pay the man the amount so as to let her go. However, he still insisted that the young girl should either repay him or he goes home with her.
The other men who were there cautioned him not to do so as it was rape but the heavyset man was adamant. There wasn’t much that anyone could do at that point since he was significantly bigger than everyone. However, some security guards and bouncers at the club saw the crowd and joined in. It took a lot of effort but they finally overpowered the man and the girl ran for her life.
Some girls are not so lucky to have good Samaritans intervene on their behalf. They end up badly beaten, raped and in extreme cases, dead. It’s become a norm to be sexually harassed in clubs that women have to go in groups to avoid being raped. Mercury Lounge forwarded the matter to the DCI and we hope for justice for our sister and other cases that may not be reported.
However, the most unfortunate part is that there are people who still think this is okay – that it’s the man’s right to claim what was his. There are people who’ll make excuses for such behaviour. There’s no difference between the person who does it and the person who makes excuses for it. I don’t know how many times we have to say this but buying drinks is not buying consent.
Nowhere does it state that if I’m buying drinks then I have your consent. This is because it’s not. If every man buying a drink decided to have his way with the girl, we’d have a society full of rapists. Someone should stop these entitled men – together with the men spreading this mentality. If your intentions are to go home with the girl, let them know. And as long as she says no, you don’t have her consent.