If there is one person who certainly doesn’t keep his opinions to himself, its the legendary Jeremy Clarkson.
This time, the Grand Tour host went on an epic rant about airport security, duty free and people in tracksuits as he and Richard Hammond attempted to test new concepts for motorised hand luggage at London Stansted.
‘Here we are at London Stansted, which is located nowhere near London,’ he began.
So far, so true.
‘Here we are, Wetherspoons with runways and miles of tape to make your life worse, and why do you need a two hour check in?’ he continued.
‘Two hours to get my suitcase from the check in desk to just behind that wall over there? Two hours?’
Fair point, but up next is security.
‘Good, security, time to take all my clothes off and give someone my toothpaste. And do you know the worst thing?
‘The idiocy of people in these queues beggars belief – look at her shoes, she looks like Elton John in Tommy, it will take her three hours to take each one of those off – and take your laptops out now in the queue, not when you get there.
‘I came here on a train, 2000 people on it and no security at all, go on an airplane and “oh well we’ll do this”.’
Oh yes, Jeremy is not happy, and especially when his bag gets a special search.
‘You’ve been through an X-Ray machine,’ he says, exasperated.
‘When you go to hospital you X-Ray someone’s leg and you say “it’s not broken I can see that but let’s just cut your flesh open to make sure”, they know, it’s been X-Rayed why are they looking again?’
And there’s more to come for Jeremy as it’s duty free time.
‘And then you’re straight into a shop, which wouldn’t be so bad if it sold something you actually wanted, but no all they sell is perfume,’ he complained.
Adverts, and slogans also come under fire in Jeremy’s rant before he decides it’s time to start his own company.
‘I am going to start an airline called I’ll Take My Chances and you turn up, get on the plane and it takes off,’ he suggested.