Well, here we go, the often forbidden discussion in church. And well, if discussed, very loosely for that matter. Often detached from reality. Not like I would know, but perhaps those on the podium are trying to hide stuff. Not like that is abnormal or impossible, but because they intend to make it seem like so.
Dear fellow Christian girl, trust me, I can totally identify. I get how singles’ meetings, Daughters of Zion sermons, reading The Wait by the adorable Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin Christian Couple and google searching on ‘How Far is too Far in Christian Dating’ can feel. Been there done that.
Well, even after leaving these Singles meetings or live streaming sermons on these can leave us feeling all fired up to “Keep the promise”, reality can get a bit more complicated. Even when dating a fellow Christian.
Questions like: Should we kiss? Can we go on a getaway? And how will I make sure to keep my distance? How best can I avoid the sin of fornication?
Ninety percent of the time, the questions even hinder us from simply enjoying the moment. Even hand-holding can cause a whole spiral of questions and anxiety. What next?
It gets hard sister, and I know.
However, allow me to introduce to you the phenomenal Rebecca Lynn Pope. And yes sister, bumped into her amid the regular google searches on “How far is too far”.
So besides the video down below, here is a little teaser into what Rebecca Lynn talks about on ‘Why Christian Girls Should Stop Over-spiritualising Dating and Relationships”.Okay first of all, that title is intriguing enough. And in case it sounds a bit too extreme, relax because Rebecca is actually a pastor. And a real one for that matter.
Where is the male ‘Daughters of Zion’?
While the ladies are all up in arms attending Singles’ meetings, most of the time very few men are not doing the same. So where are they?
The men are out there trying to find ways to make money, establish businesses, and even if they attend a ‘Lions of Zion’ thing, mostly the women have had to drag them out of the house.
So while we are getting so worked up, no one is meeting us half way.
Christian girls have become the demographic for promotions
Listen, while it all sounds good and uplifting for a second, how far does it go when it comes to reality?
Rebecca Pope, downright bursts our bubble by making it known that Christian girls have been duped all along. Still are. Because most of these people who intend to sell an idea or a book know that they have a willing audience in church girls.
Therefore, a book is sold today, a conference is held, a retreat on another under so and so, preaching the same old thing but in the end they are securing their bag.
Think about it, some of these “relationship experts” aren’t even married, so what do they have to show for their expertise anyway?
So you won’t get married to a pastor?
Sis, most of the people whose stories we are obsessed with are pastors’ wives. Understandably, because eventually we go to church for these talks on relationships, and yes the pastor’s wife is the one to talk to us.
There we hear about how they were holding hands in prayer while dating, and the man wakes up at 5am to pray and read the Bible, how dates were tailored to discuss the love for God. And to be honest that is what they no.
However (allow me my preacher moment here), turn to the girl next to you and ask whether she would like to get married to a pastor.
Most answers: No.
But the blueprint you are constantly feeding and over feeding on is that of a pastor’s wife yet that’s not what you want?
Don’t you think its time to go back to the drawing board?