Ushai amka asubuhi ukajipata huna kitu….na ukiangalia kile umefanya na hiyo pesa ni hakuna! (Have you ever gotten up one morning and found that you have nada…..you evaluate what you did with that money and find that its zee-row!)
so….. you decide to retrace your steps back to the place you were last night…..of course, ze club. Luckily, you find some of your hommies. They know you were so high and you were throwing money around,(pea yule!..hata huyu!….uyu ni arriff ata yeye apewe!)….. and they took advantage and now they cannot face you so….they look at you like this….
But because you are the guy….you press hard on your questions and eventually your friends give in and the first thing they do is laugh, even before they start telling you what went down………
alafu kidogo kidogo you hear one of your hommies amesema…….buuuudaaaa!!!….. and you suspect that something serious went down last night……
‘My fren……jana ulilewa kama ghasia, ata unajua ulifika home aje?‘ (you were drunk ASF! Do you even know how got home?). We tried escorting you, but you said you knew de weeii home! So…you do ‘quick maths’ and try figuring how you got home but all you can remember is doing this……
and then you remember that you always have this rule that you always follow when you are drunk……its a safety precaution and it goes something like this……………………..
Worst of all…..they describe the girl that you hooked up with…..and a picture comes to your head! Ghai! you remember its Muthoni Mathigara!!(Muthoni the shain smoker) and cannot imagine that you were kissing her silver tooth…….kai!(the Nigerians pronounce this as ‘chaaaiii!) …………………
You know what is coming is worse and so you immediately try to steer the discussion to another direction….but you cannot suppress the memories and they come in rushing like a flood. So you end up remembering seeing your wife waiting up for you like this……….
If you have ever experienced anything similar to this, why not click the like button below and leave a comment?
