Ever heard the phrase, ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’? It means that not everybody who is in your corner means well for you and some are only keeping you close so they can keep their evil eye on you. Here’s how to spot a toxic friendship and end it before it ends you.
Good friendships are vital for well-being, giving you a reliable support network in times of distress and helping you to feel known and understood. Loved ones provide accountability and offer support as you journey towards your goal. However, it’s important to know when a friendship has become toxic, sapping your energy and undermining your self-esteem. It’s hard to spot these toxic friends because more often than not, they are the greatest pretenders and manipulators. Toxic friendships are essentially friendships with no balance. One friend’s needs get met while another’s are forgotten.
A toxic friend is draining, unsupportive, and focuses only on his or her feelings. He or she also gives tremendous stress. As a result, you will find toxic friend overly demanding because they take a lot from you but won’t give anything back. This may seem fairly harmless but after a prolonged amount of time, such friendships cause us to become angry, resentful thus leaving us equally as toxic. Rather than bringing company and comfort to your life, a toxic friendship will bring exhaustion and frustration. Once you recognise the red flags, you can work towards cutting the bad energy out of your life.
Here are 8 signs that you are in a toxic friendship!
1. They overly critical
There’s a difference between constructive criticism and someone who is using any chance to stick the knife in. Their so-called advice is often brutal and can feel like a kick in the gut rather than a piece of friendly advice. Over time, this critique will wear you down and make you feel small.
2. They’re envious
Beware of the green-eyed monster. Envy is something that can completely consume a person and cause them to act out in the most awful of ways. These ‘friends’ feel bitter when you get new thins or receive good news and instead of being happy for you, they find ways to undermine it.
3. They discredit you
They doubt everything you say or do because they have a low opinion of you. They comfortably spread lies about you and in general, lack faith in you as well as belittle and undermine your achievements.
4. They’re users
They take advantage of your generosity and give back absolutely nothing in return. They can crash at your house uninvited for months regardless of how you feel and not even offer to contribute or show any gratitiude. Toxic friends are inherently selfish and the benefits of the friendship are always tipped in their favour.
5. Their life is one big drama
Not only do these types of friends grossly exaggerate everything to make their lives seem more exciting, they are also finding themselves in one situation or another. If you friend is always in the midst of drama, it may be that they are indeed the common denominator and the problem lies with them instead of everybody else.
6. They’re liars
They lie at every given opportunity in order to deceive you and keep you in the dark. They tell improbable stories which you know are far from the truth and you are non the wiser.
7. They’re pessimists
They always believe the evil outweighs the good. They’re always discouraged and spread that negativity energy to those near them, including you.
8. They gossip…a lot
They constantly talk about you behind your back and spread rumours about you. Their gossip is vicious and they do so with the aim to destroy your reputation