8 Hilarious facts about losing your virginity. Number 3 will blow your mind!

•  If you have a penis, you might come really, really quickly.

And that’s totally fine. It’s your first time inside a vagina/mouth/anus, so it’s exciting stuff going on here. But don’t try to stave off an orgasm by thinking about baseball or grandparents or something. Focus on being in the moment and on your partner’s needs, and don’t worry so much about when you’ll come, says Mark. Even if you do finish super quickly, don’t panic — you can just turn your attention to pleasing your partner.

• Whatever you do, don’t try to copy what you saw in porn.

All that violent thrusting and those acrobatic positions aren’t actually things that everyone enjoys, especially not your first go around. It takes a while to figure out how to do that in a way that feels good. Accept that you’re new to this and you’re still exploring, and have fun with that.

•  If you have a vagina, you probably won’t have an orgasm the first time around.

Fifty Shades of Grey lied to you. Unfortunately, research shows that women are just less likely to orgasm during sex than men. That said, there are a few things you can do to increase your chances, like having sex with a familiar partner, engaging in lots of foreplay, and not just focusing on penetration. Also, it really can take YEARS for some people to figure out how to orgasm during sex with another person. So be patient and don’t give up hope.

• You can definitely get pregnant the very first time you have sex.

Sadly, there are no free passes for virgins. If your first time involves a penis ejaculating inside a vagina, you can absolutely get pregnant, says Herbenick. So before you lose your virginity, think about what kind of birth control you’ll use to protect against pregnancy, and talk about this with your partner…preferably before you’re naked.

• Foreplay us always important!!

When you know you’re finally going to have sex, most people skip over all the other stuff to get to the main event. Don’t do this. If your goal is vaginal sex, make sure to rack up a few other activities before you go there. Research shows that the more sexual behaviors you engage in, the easier it is for both men and women to orgasm during a hookup.

• You should definitely still use a condom.

If not for pregnancy protection, then for STIs — yes, even if you’re both virgins, says Herbenick. Here’s why: People lie. OK, that was a little harsh, but really, there’s always a chance that someone isn’t being totally honest when they say they’ve never had sex before or they’ve only had sex with another virgin or whatever. Plus, people have very different definitions when it comes to sex, and STIs can be spread through genital, oral, anal, and sometimes just skin-to-skin contact. So even if they think they’ve been safe in the past, they might be mistaken.

• If your first time involves penetration, a little pain or pressure might be expected. That said, it should still be overall pleasurable, not painful. So if it hurts a lot, stop. This could be a signal that you need more foreplay or lubrication.

• Not every vagina bleeds like a stab wound the first time you have sex. Some women don’t notice any bleeding at all, but it is true that some women bleed a lot. This comes from tearing the hymen, which is basically just tissue inside the vagina. All women have different amounts of hymenal tissue, and in rare cases they aren’t born with any. There’s really no way to predict how much you’ll bleed, so…maybe keep a light on.