Barmaids, just like housemaids, walk the tightrope of serving to please and pleasing to remain in good books. But they may not be as naive as you think, and would occasionally take advantage of low hanging fruits.
Here are 10 things that make barmaids special:
1. Change…What change?
Barmaids, also known as BMs, have the notorious tendency of keeping change, especially when the patrons are high like kites and can’t tell the difference between a Sh100 and Sh1,000 note.
2. Compe roho safi
It’s an open secret that it takes a woman to put another woman off. Barmaids are women too, you know? They’ll serve you with dedication and give you all the attention until your woman checks in. You may as well kiss the prompt service that came with an overzealous wiping of the table, and exposed ‘nyosh’ threatening to spill out of her blouse, goodbye!
3. Cold beer and being knocked cold
We can’t make a sweeping accusation, but there are cases where that cold beer of yours is served with extra special potent ‘mchele’ that will knock you out cold. This is the work of barmaids who collude with thugs to drug you. Later, you will come around minus your wallet, phone, watch and senses in some dinghy, godforsaken, and crime-infested den.
4.Happy ending
Don’t be deceived by the stone-faced BM who looks like she never smiles. Some of them are the ones who keep dry spells away for those loud patrons. A good tip, familiarity and respecting ‘mahali pa kazi’ could do the trick.
5. How does that make you feel?
Yes, that is the question every shrink asks. Barmaids already know how you feel and can smell a broke or sexually-starved man a mile away. But they are damn good listeners. I feel better already!