Going through a breakup, particularly a messy one, can leave emotional scars that aren’t easily healed. If you find yourself stuck in an angry, unforgiving space after a relationship ends, it is possible to heal yourself. Our relationship experts share their advice on how you can move on and learn to trust again.
Here are 5 Simple Steps to Learn to Trust Again After a Breakup
Clear yourself
An exercise that helps is to write a list of everyone that has hurt you or did you wrong and, starting from the bottom, forgive each of these people using the words “I forgive you, I release you.” Put the paper at the foot of your mattress and after nine days, tear up the paper and flush it down the toilet once again saying “I release you.”
The healing process
As most relationships take three months to stabilize, allow yourself three months to develop a stable relationship with yourself before you jump back into another relationship.
Remember the fun
Dating is meant to be fun. You need to release the fear and be ready to take chances to trust someone new. Relationships are like buying shoes, sometimes they seem to fit in the beginning but end up hurting you later, while others can become your most favorite pair. Be open and love will find you.
Be a Lover to Yourself
Treat yourself kindly during this period. Get extra sleep. Try to eat well. Treat yourself to a massage or a manicure. Listen to upbeat, positive music, and whatever you do, don’t play your favorite heartbreak album over and over. It won’t help. Trust me, it only makes matters worse.
Practice Forgiveness
You don’t have to forgive the man’s actions, if the things he did were really horrific, but you do need to forgive the person; otherwise, you’ll stay stuck in victim consciousness. Forgiveness sets you free. Then forgive yourself for getting involved with him. Forgiving yourself is probably the hardest and most important step on your road to breakup recovery.