We all know that relationships take different stages and our parents are aware of that as well. It comes a time, if you have a boyfriend, that you leave all parked appointments to go start living together, and your parents should know it too. But it may not be easy for them to get used to the idea.
How can you tell my parents that you are going to live with your boyfriend? It is the million dollar question and we will try to give you an answer. Being an adult and an independent woman you are capable of making decisions without the consent of your parents.
So if u have been living with your girlfriend or boyfriend for more than 6 months in Kenya you are legally married.
— Toni Martinez (@Toni_Mrtinez) November 11, 2015
On the other hand, you do not want them to be upset, disappointed or even angry, right? Because it is true that your family may have something to object to your coexistence with your partner.
Pros and Cons to consider before making your Decision
1. If your boyfriend does not like that, if your parents believe that you are in a toxic relationship, that you are not mature enough or that you are not prepared to take the step of coexistence, you can take the fatal news.
2. If you still live with your parents, they will have natural vertigo to have their daughter leave home and suffer from the empty nest syndrome. Prepare to listen to all kinds of opinions regarding your decision.
3. If your parents are conservative and religious people can take an offence to the fact that you are going to live with your boyfriend without going through the altar. When this happens remember that your life has been lived by you.
4. There are other factors that complicate your life when it comes to breaking the news. If it’s going to live in another city/town, if you do not even know your boyfriend, if you’re going through a delicate family time, if your parents are not enough to have your own life or if you just met that person it’s of a hasty and impulsive decision, are just some examples.
Above all, it’s best to know that you can bridge the gap between your parents’ opinion and yours.
When is the right time to communicate?
Can you communicate the news that you are going to live with your boyfriend in the middle of Christmas Eve dinner? With your parents, sisters, cousins, aunts and other families awaiting every detail? You definitely want to avoid family wars right? How about if you selected a different time?
1. It is better to meet your parents alone. Without your boyfriend. Have a quiet talk, in a place where they feel comfortable and tell them first. You’ll take care of the rest of your family later on.
2. Let your parents know that it is a decision already made, that you are not seeking approval, but that you can have a quiet opinion about the matter. All this with tact and without stridencies.
3. Listen to them if they participate in the communication if they give you reasons that they do not see fit for you to go live with your boyfriend. Listen to them, but that does not mean you have to change your mind.
4. Your parents will put fewer impediments if they see you in a happy couple if they know that your boyfriend respects you and that by his side you can continue to be an independent and happy person.
6. For your peace of mind, it is better to get to know your boyfriend first, to spend some time with him and to see him through your eyes, which will undoubtedly be a more benevolent perspective.
7. Do not let them dramatize. If you see that they become intense or try to make emotional blackmail, put an end to the conversation, without bad but in a forceful way. Your decision is made.
Going to live with your boyfriend is an important step in the relationship but it is not an irreversible or definitive decision. If you present it that way to your parents, they sure do not put any problems.