Everyone wants to fall in love, right? All we want to do is discover that person who means the world to us.
We envision ourselves building a family with our significant other and spending the rest of our lives creating good memories with them.
However, not everyone is ready to enter into a relationship.
Sometimes, you see how couples end up either in painful breakups or devastating divorces.
Despite the painful and emotionally draining experience, they had undergone, some people are still obsessing over being in a relationship that the thought of being single just freaks them out
While there’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship, trying to live a single life might be the biggest break you need in your life to heal and discover yourself.
Here’s why you should stay single for a while.
You Feel Pressured to Date
Are you feeling pressured to date because your family or friends encourage you to do so?
Or are you pressured in finding a new relationship after a recent breakup?
Before you actually commit in a pressured relationship, Martinez advises you to stop and think twice.
According to her, engaging in a relationship without proper commitment will often end in breakups, leaving you feeling more empty than whole.
If you feel like you’re pressured into dating, Martinez recommends you take a deep breath to think things through.
Committing to a new relationship should be done because it’s what you want, not because of someone else.
Do not compare your life based on someone else’s timeline as this may lead to discontent and your eventual downfall.
Instead, try to figure out what you really want to do in your life first.
Fear of Being in a Relationship
Recognizing your fear of being in a relationship is tricky.
However, watching the right signs may help you identify it. For example, do you tend to get angry and decide to break up whenever your partner commits a mistake?
Do you tend to bring up the same issues over and over again whenever you two have arguments?
Do you find the slightest flaw (e.g. not enough time with each other, miscommunications, etc.) and use it as an excuse to end your relationship?
If yes, then this means that you’re actually afraid of committing to a relationship.
For now, you should probably stay single and work on yourself first to overcome this fear.
Identify the problems why you’re afraid of engaging in relationships in the first place. Are you afraid of the commitment?
Responsibilities? Not financially stable enough to settle down? Then work on those problems first until you build a healthy coping mechanism to overcome your fear.
Fear of Being Alone
Those people who fear ending up being alone or being left behind often suffer from abusive relationships because they tend to compromise their standards and lower their bars just to please the person they’re with.
Oftentimes, they become a martyr and even beg their partners to keep the relationship.
Martinez says it’s dangerous to keep this toxic relationship as you’re giving the other person the authority or power to abuse you.
Most importantly, it shows how you devalue yourself. It may seem counter-intuitive, but Martinez recommends you to stay single for a while.
Instead of thinking about having a relationship, she says you should divert your attention to yourself.
She suggests you spend some alone time first to discover yourself more, particularly your goals, dreams and ambitions in life.
Then you work hard at achieving them. Once you achieve your dreams, you’ll feel empowered and will realize just how strong you are even when alone.
It’ll help boost your self-esteem, too. The truth is, you don’t need anyone else’s approval since you are worth it.
Your Baggage Feels Heavy
Most people tend to engage in a new relationship after a recent breakup thinking that the new relationship will help them heal and overcome their painful past.
However, that’s not the case according to Exclusive Matchmaking founder Susan Trombetti.
She says it’s better to grieve and allow yourself to heal as you go on the moving on process.
When you’re ready and whole again, only then does she encourage you to enter a new relationship in a clean slate.
Getting rebounds only spell trouble and you may end up dealing with more emotional baggage than you can handle.