We all have a dark past that we don’t share out loud.
What would you do if a past mistake turned you into something that the society views as evil?
If you happen to stumble upon someone’s dark pasts, let it be. There’s no point mocking that person or bringing out that part of their lives that has since been buried.
Below is a confession of a man that started off with a past mistake but later realised it was a thing he had in him:
I am a man in my early thirties no wife no kids no friends. I live alone not by choice but I’ve been forced by nature to live like this. I think the only person who understands my point well is my mother, the rest just assume that am a lonely weirdo who is waiting to die.
I work at a slaughterhouse, it’s a family business but am the only one from the family that does actual slaughtering of the animals, the rest of my family are in managerial positions or aren’t involved in the business.
I enjoy this job, this job is my life, my partner, my friend. The tools for my job have been my companions since I could remember. Earlier in my childhood, I had a fight with one of the neighbour’s kid, my friend back then.
We had a fistfight then after I realised that he will eventually overwhelm me, I took a stone and knocked his head hard once then blood started splashing out of the wounded area. He was taken to hospital by some seniors then I was reprimanded and caned badly by my parents but ever since that day, my life changed.
I could not stop thinking of how that blood splashed out of his head, somehow something deep inside me enjoyed it. I didn’t know the extent of the joy of seeing spilt blood until one day my bigger bro came home with a horror movie. My eyes were glued to the tv screen because it had so much bloodshedding scenes, I loved them even though I was so young then.
Things got more interesting when our cat started misbehaving and having this weird disease. It started shedding off its fur on its tail and then the body, my mother didn’t know what to do so she ordered us to dump it far but the damn animal managed to return home the next day.
We were surprised because we had dumped it miles away from home, a distance we had used our pickup to travel. There was no other choice. Back then animal control or vets were not popular so it had to die and I was given the honours since no one was willing to kill a cat. That was one of the most satisfying moments of my life.
I knocked it hard on the head with a metal rod then buried it. I enjoyed seeing fresh blood spilling out of things I didn’t understand why. In ceremonies and even in my neighbour’s ceremonies, I would be the one tasks with killing goats, sheep, hen, pigs basically I enjoyed and still enjoy this but everything has its drawbacks and this is no exception.
I have this hot temper that I’m unable to control and if you are the cause, then I don’t get peace within me until I see blood spilling out of you. It happened in high school two times with senior students who were bullying us. It’s a long story but they got a taste of their own medicine.
The good thing is that up to now, I have never killed a human being even though in the past they almost certainly end up in comma. I have no guilt when I kill, I never feel anything wrong with doing it and that would obviously apply to humans because I sometimes find myself fantasizing about killing certain prominent people when am high alone.
I can’t live or be close to anyone because sooner or later we will collide and the result might not be so good so I choose to work in a slaughterhouse for those who don’t know that it’s human-friendly name is an abattoir. This way I can do what I love legally every day and enjoy the balance it brings to my existence.
I would like to end by saying a huge thanks to you ann for starting a channel like this one because I don’t think that I could have been able to explain this to any human being out there especially those that see me and think that am super weird my story. I am glad that finally, I have found a place where I can express and explain my nature freely without judgements.