A man has revealed that he regrets dumping his girlfriend of six years for being ‘lazy’ and ‘unmotivated ‘ but it turns out she had cancer.
“Massively regret breaking up with my (ex-)girlfriend of 6 years. Broke up with her because she was always tired, “lazy,” and “unmotivated.” Turns out she had cancer.
She had thyroid cancer, which I guess is considered one of the most “treatable” cancers. She had surgery right after it was discovered and is now apparently feeling a lot better on thyroid medication. She’s had check-ups and the cancer hasn’t spread to other parts of her body so she’s okay now. I had to hear this all from a mutual friend, because I dumped her six months ago in a way that I now realize was fucking awful and cruel, and she won’t speak to me anymore.
For the past 2-3 years she was complaining about a pressure in her throat like she was always sick. She also became very depressed and anxious, which was something she’d never experienced before, and was also always tired. This meant she couldn’t go on the hiking excursions we used to enjoy on the weekends, couldn’t travel with me as much, would want to go home earlier in the night, etc.
After a year or so of her complaining about it, I started thinking she was making it all up. She was talking about having to turn down a promotion because of how fatigued she felt all the time, and I felt like she was just using her “illness” as an excuse not to work harder. I also resented her for being so tired all the time and sometimes not even being able to leave the house on the weekends.
I discouraged her from going to more doctors after the first three, because all of her blood tests came back negative, and these doctors cost a ton of money (we live in America). She fell into an even deeper depression, now partly because she could tell I (and other people around her) thought she was making up her symptoms.
I dumped her six months ago after meeting someone at work who I felt wasn’t “lazy,” “depressed,” and “unmotivated.” These are the exact words I used to break up with her. I was for some f*cking reason utterly convinced that she was making it all up, maybe because the doctors she’d seen hadn’t found anything. I guess I had too much faith in the medical system. This is something she said to me during our blow-out breakup argument but I didn’t believe her then. And this girl that I had a crush on ended up not being that great relationship-wise and our “relationship” barely lasted a month.
It is now six months later, and I heard from a mutual friend what my ex has gone through. I’ve sent her texts asking her to talk but it looks like she’s blocked me on pretty much every channel. I also heard she met someone at the hospital while recovering after her surgery, and that they’re dating now, and that she seems happy for the first time in a long time. She’s medicated and “back to her normal self,” according to our mutual friends,” he confessed on Reddit.
In addition, he feels ‘sick’ that if the girlfriend continued listening to him, the cancer would have spread and she would have died.
“I feel sick to think what might’ve happened if she’d actually continued listening to me, and had her cancer spread to other areas of her body before it was found. I look back and I cringe at how arrogant and condescending I was, talking to her about her symptoms like I knew what she was going through better than she did. I also wonder if maybe her cancer would’ve been discovered sooner if I hadn’t been such a d*ck about it during the relationship. I also just regret the fact that I threw away a relationship that was otherwise entirely amazing because I thought I was smarter than her, and now she’s happy and healthy with another guy. I don’t know, I just needed to vent. I realize that to her, I’ll probably always be the f*cking douchebag that almost made her die of cancer and dumped her for being ill,” he added.