A certain woman has confessed that she lost her virginity to a married man after meeting him through an online platform.
Below is her confession:
All my life, I’ve thought of myself as ugly. I was always painfully shy and held back by low self-confidence, in all areas of my life. When it came to physical intimacy, I had essentially zero experience with any of it. Although I had kissed before, it was never anyone I was attracted to and it was never enjoyable for me. I never learned “how” to. I’d never made out with anyone. I’d never cuddled anyone, or seen anyone naked in the flesh, and I’d never been touched. With each year, I grew more self-conscious of my lack of experience with intimacy. Although I did have opportunities, I was simply too fearful and self-conscious to express my feelings. Due to my physical flaws, Rejection seemed imminent, and I simply could not allow myself to feel this kind of vulnerability.
At 25, I found myself at one of the lowest points of my life. I simply had zero fucks to give. With this new mindset, I found a new sense of freedom, and it pushed me to make the decision to finally have sex. I knew I needed to put my inhibitions aside or it would never happen. Before I lost my virginity, it had been 8 years since I had kissed anyone (and it had been an awful, drunken kiss that left me with a foul taste in my mouth). I was scared but, as self-conscious and secretive as I was about being a virgin, the best way to go about this was to meet someone solely for the purpose of losing it. I was self-conscious of being judged and I wanted to maintain a sense of anonymity.
I posted to Reddit and received many messages. There was quantity, but a serious lack of quality. I know I’m not the most attractive woman, I’m plain and chubby, but I have standards. Although I was eager to lose my virginity, I was not desperate. I posted several times, was flaked by one or two. The whole process took a few months. In the end, it came down to one, and he was exactly the kind of man I would fantasize about. Older than I, mature, professional, and exactly what I’m attracted to physically.. in other words., out of my league. The only downside was that he was married. When he told me he was married, I almost backed out. I mean, I wasn’t that kind of girl. Then I realized the fact that he was married was actually kind of a turn-on for me. I decided to meet him for a drink. We ended up fucking that night. I was surprised he wanted to meet up, but we fucked a few times since then.
I did feel guilty afterwards. It was selfish of me. But I’ve come to terms with it. I’m not the first woman this guy has fucked while married, and I’m sure I’m not the last. I know it’s not “right” but I part of me really likes that it happened this way.