Its been several years since Ciara’s “Ride” song came out, and ladies, we gotta admit, she had a good point as to what exactly to do a man. The one line to remember throughout the whole song is actually in the first verse when she says, “I can do it up and down, I can do circles” because really, that’s the key to the whole idea of riding your man. Or as I call it, Cowgirl Style, yeah I said it…. Go get your rodeo on gurl *wink*. In case you’re confused as what she means then have a look for yourself and follow her dancing.
Most ladies think it’s easy to get it right. Of course, there are those who are natural gymnasts and flexible so it comes easy to them. But for some of the ladies, they really think they have it all figured out, but I got news for you boo, smh. You ain’t got it.
Don’t look at us like that! We know your type. Three strokes. Stop. Three strokes. Stop. No. Just NO. We have refused!
But don’t worry ladies, as it turns out, there are lots of you who really need a quick lesson on how to properly ride your man to smithereens (hehe). So in the spirit of helping fellow sisters out, we have decided to tolerate no more of your inexperience. No more mediocrity in your horizon!
Listen, riding dick isn’t easy. Weh. You burn a couple of hundred of calories though while at it so it’s up there with cycling, only more fun! When you are sitting astride your man all fired up, draw from your inner filthy goddess, hear the stars playing in your head and dance darling. It will feel so good for both of you and he is bound to give you a standing ovation..in your vagina!
Evidently, these ladies have never heard of the COCONUT trick. It’s simple when you’re on top of him with his ding-a-ling inside you, of course, you need to grind the hell out of that shit by spelling out the word COCONUT with your waist. And I mean EVERY SINGLE LETTER of the word COCONUT.
Vunja kiuno mama!!
Again, this doesn’t mean it’s over. There are a few more tricks you need to do in order to get him to that point beyond imagination.
1. Finding a rhythm
You and that dick down there need to be more in sync than your whole squad’s period! Remember you are in control, your wildin and hopin and grindin will not help you if the dick pops out every two strokes. Like, guh!!
2. Use your hands for support
Look, if you can ride dick hands-free, you really shouldn’t be here. But if you are, I just need you to know that it’s okay, encouraged even for you to use your hands as support. You can place them anywhere too, on his chest, gripping him as you near the homestretch.
3. If something pops, it’s okay
We are all riding the fossil wave here hun! Things will pop and crack while you’re at it, just adjust your position and keep going! Most guys will take pity on your old people knees and help you along too. Unless you’re fucking a dead fish.
Yeees!! Make sure you get you some today!!
And thank me later *wink*.