Having a stalker is not interesting, in fact, one should actually raise an alarm in case you feel that there is someone stalking you. Establishing the true meaning, a stalker is a person who illegally follows someone over a period of time. In most cases, women are the most preyed on.
Before one gets to stalking they must have been influenced by you in one way or another, this is what might be happening to them. They are motivated by:-
Fear of being abandoned – Stalkers are possessive and are afraid of being left alone, they just don’t like rejection. They always see themselves victims of circumstances so they will always put up a pity party.
Obsession – Stalkers are obsessive, particularly when it comes to their romantic inclinations. They get preoccupied with you as a target to the extent that they can be unable to sleep or even forget to eat.
Living in a dream – Stalkers can sometimes have a hard time differentiating fact and fiction. To them, you belong to them, and that’s how they feed their imagination that you two are destined to be together.
Narcissism – Stalkers luck the skills to cope with rejection, shame, loss, or embarrassment. This way, they don’t respect your feeling nor boundaries. They justify their actions with statements like “If I can’t have you, no one can.”
Once they have identified you as their victim, to begin their harassment, stalkers opt for easy modes of contact such as social media, calling and at times emailing. When you get alarmed and ‘block’ these avenues, they then escalate to more intrusive behaviours. They now start spying on you and at times, confront you.
Here is what you can do to protect yourself when you realised that you are a victim.
Being firm and letting them know – Letting your stalker see that you are unwilling to continue the contact, and sticking to it, denies your stalker the chance to feel that you are leading them on or just taking them for granted.
Set boundaries without a care about their feelings – Worrying about hurting their feelings makes you maintain contact and even lead them on. Here, you are setting boundaries to keep yourself safe, not them. Let them know that it is their unwelcomed behaviour that created the situation.
Be careful with your personal information – You need to be mindful of the kind of information you share especially on social media. Do not give your stalker a heads-up by letting your friends tag you in posts that reveal your whereabouts and day-to-day patterns like clubs you frequent and places you spend your weekends.
Don’t reveal your location – This is simple. Don’t allow apps in your gadgets to show your location. Don’t make it easy for your stalker to track you.
Be calm and stay firm – Remaining cool ensures you don’t feed into your stalkers need to create an emotional response from you. Being calm and firm leaves you in charge of your feelings.
Tell a friend – While you may not want to post on social media or announce to crowds that you have a stalker, it is important that you tell a variety of people about your problem so that if something were to happen, you might have witnesses. These people can be co-workers, boss, parents, neighbours, office management, doorman, and your spouse.
If possible, show these people a photo of the stalker or give a detailed description and tell them what to should they see the stalker. Call you? Tell stalker to leave? Call the police? Yes, you need to report stalking to the police even if the stalking has been from a distance and non-violent.