Once upon a time it was considered that women are the biggest gossipers of the society. Contrary to that belief, its apparent that men are actually bigger gossipers than women..and theirs is worse cause they do it to an extent where your feelings CAN and WILL get hurt.
Kenyan Men in specific have mastered this skill to the best of their ability.
‘Female affairs’ has always proven to be a fruity topic for men. Certain stereotypes of girls always crop up every now and then in guy-to-guy conversations.
Here are the specific types of women guys enjoy gossiping about:
1. The side dish (mpango wa kando).
This is the woman a man makes covert, off-the-books hookups with behind his girlfriend or wife’s back. She’s always ready to meet the guy at his beck and call, because she’s a willing participant like that. He frequently goes out with her but he doesn’t really date her. She is just a backup woman that a guy keeps as his plan B, for days when he’s lonely or fighting with his girlfriend.
All of a guy’s friends know about this woman because he always tells them how electrifying she is. And guys tend to brag about it too. To a guy’s friends, a backup girl is like owning a second car. The guy who has a backup girl is almost always looked up as a great dude because he gets a girl to date or make out with whenever he wants.
2. The one that got away.
This type can be broken down into two. There’s the woman that a guy had a chance with but he wasted it so he keeps regretting. He keeps telling his friends about her until they don’t wanna hear about it anymore. Then there’s the good woman a man had but he messed up so she left him. This hurts even more. Guys will never stop talking about such a woman. Ever.
3. The one-night stand woman (chips funga).
Men will always tell their buddies about that random woman they hooked up with. They will also explain whether they regret what happened or loved it. They will narrate everything in detail like it’s a National Geographic documentary. All events leading up to the closing of the bedroom door will be unwrapped and served to the ears of keen buddies.
4. The current crush.
Sometimes a guy is forced to call a meeting with his board-of-friends to seek advice on how he can score with his current object of affection. The crush tends to be a challenging prospect, forcing a guy to always bring her up during bonding sessions with friends. The friends then dig for details and either give good advice or terrible advice that ends up backfiring.
5. The ‘out-of-bounds’ woman.
This one tends to be a classy woman with high standards. She is so hot and awesome, a man shrivels up down there just thinking of approaching her. She always looks like she just stepped out of a magazine photo shoot and is incredibly stunning. She’s extremely confident and attractive, and she has a got her life figured out. Most guys would never even dream of approaching her and would be happy just lusting after her from far away and talking about her. She’s the kind of girl only extraordinary guys approach.
6. The woman who thinks she’s all that…but she’s nothing.
This woman is the butt of all jokes during men’s moshene sessions. Ever met a girl who thinks all guys are attracted to her or trying to hit on her wherever she goes, even though you know for a fact that no guy is actually interested in her? Or the one who always thinks she’s high class but she’s just a kawaida woman when stripped off the makeup and attitude? Well, this is that girl. Guys enjoy tearing her apart and laughing about it.
7. The clingy girl.
Guys love complaining to their friends about this type of woman. She is overly emotional, shares all her feelings from the start and needs constant reassurance about your relationship status. That means lots of text messages, phone calls and I Love Yous. Ugh. She is also probably the one that loves a man and wants something more than just a casual relationship but he doesn’t want the same.
8. The loose woman.
The sad part here is that all guys speak about this girl like she’s trash. They’d say they’d never hook up with her ever, but secretly every guy wants to sleep with her because…well…who doesn’t like easy things?
9. The ‘masculine’ woman.
This is the friendly and yet, attractive girl. She’s definitely dateable, but her boyish behaviour could put many other guys to shame. She’s into doing all the stuff that guys love. She doesn’t mind being the only woman among a large group of guys. Men love the guy chick because she’s always fun to hang out with. But the all wish she could just be a little more girly.
