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What Men Should Understand About Raising Boys

25/05/2019
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Men like blaming everything on being a man, but there is nothing about being a man when you are actually a child. let the child be a child so that when they grow up they actually become men and not children.
In African culture, men are supposed to be tough right from the beginning. Boy children were not supposed to cry too much, not supposed to cry when they fall down, not supposed to show emotions even when they are hurt and that is how we have had to manage rough,  harsh and non-exitant fathers.
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The only thing that they were known for is discipline. The days when you hear your father was coming you all go to sleep because you will be caught with an offence, even if everything was perfect your dad would find fault,” you are holding you pen badly,” or  “you are breathing too loudly,” or “you are opening your eyes too wide,”.
Parenting has made a significant turn where everyone has a role to play in a child’s life. No more bullying mothers and life threatning fathers. We have reached a point where we have to understand our very own children or they will create a place hard for parents to stand.
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In most cases, men like treating their boy children as their peers, remember this is your child looking up to you as a hero and a role model. If you harass him he will harass everyone he comes in contact with and that may not be good for him in any aspect of life, In harassing him he may have low self-esteem and may live life below his potential.
Here is what you need to adapt to when raising boys.

 1. Use Your Words

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In school, kids are taught at an early age to use their words to express their feelings. One of the challenges is men don’t often practice what we preach and lash out physically when frustrated. Since our boys are going to emulate them, then men should start modelling less physical methods of confrontation.

 2. Apologize for Your Actions

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Men must help their sons realize that their actions have consequences. If you are going to lash out, commit a crime, or beat up your wife, there will be consequences which you can’t control. In order to make amends, you must apologize for your actions. Men can no longer claim to be a victim for there own behavior.

 3. Acknowledge You Have a Choice

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After doing the wrong thing, show him how to do it right. By showing him he has an alternative, will empower him to hopefully make the right choice when he is confronted again.

Teaching him the ‘Smart thing to do’  when things get intense; walking away, count to 10, gather your thoughts then come back to address the issue.

 4. Hug Him and Tell Him You Love Him

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Establish yourself in his life, you are his hero. The best gift a hero can give you is his assurance, by hugging him and always telling him that you love him puts a mark in his mind and heart. In doing that he may never want to do things that his hero does not approve of.

For boys, mom is always the first love and dad is always his hero. So men, be the hero that you yourself would admire.

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