When a woman starts sleeping with a new dude, there’s a customary round of questions most of us field from our friends: What does he do? How’d you meet him? Do you actually like him? There’s only one that’s actually any fun to talk about, though, and that’s what the sex is like?
A few months ago, I had a round of these conversations with the usual suspects in my life. Trying to describe a sexual appendage you’ve only seen a couple of times is difficult , you were probably at least a little drunk, the lights were low, and if things went well, the penis in question spent most of its time hidden in various places that prevented it from being visually observed.
While one of my usual suspects, a girl I normally hang out with struggling to explain the details to a friend . “Big, but I’m not sure exactly how big, not huge, but I was happy when I saw it…” is what she could say in te midst of the full glazed smile on her face. She finally arrived on a phrase that felt right. Her guy had a “boyfriend dick.” Though neither of us had heard the term before, my other female friend immediately knew what it meant.
“Mmm. That’s the best,” she replied. For those who don’t immediately identify, a boyfriend dick is, more or less, a penis you could settle down with, or at least see three times a week; It’s a dick you could metaphorically take home to meet your parents. Basically (and fortunately), every dick can be a boyfriend dick to someone.
A boyfriend dick isn’t a measurement, per se, but a range. Think of it as a dick Overton window: a continuum of acceptability, but in this case, one that varies from person to person. Boyfriend dicks have a measurable component, of course, but not a consistent one. V’s vary in depth and sensitivity just like penises vary in length and shape.