Let’s establish some ground rules for oral sex during hookups no matter who you are. The head game isn’t fair. We know from research that during casual hookups, women are twice as likely to go down on guys than the reverse — but women are also less inclined to enjoy the extra beej they’re giving.
Because s3x is good and feels good and people want to do it. And because culturally, women expect to get off less because it typically takes more work to get them off. And hookups are the worst situation of all for women to get off: When you do it in hookups, it is often a stumble, dark, fall-into-bed sort of thing, the stuff of pumps-and-dumps, not the long-player professional s3x sesh we imagine in porn where everyone walks away epically satisfied.
And yet, in spite of all this, the rule remains: Nobody has to go down on anybody during any casual sex experience! I can’t say this enough. And most importantly, nobody especially has to go down on someone during the first casual experience.
Oral s3x is kind of intimate. Doesn’t matter what the genitals are. It’s okay if you don’t want to do it right away. Not every woman wants to go down on you. Not every woman wants you to go down on her. Not every man digs blowjobs either and not every man likes giving women oral. That is fine. Not fine as in “disappointing but acceptable.” Fine as in actually totally okay and even understandable and good.