I still wonder why people are still looking for methods and reasons to change abusive men instead of just moving on. Sweetheart, there are a lot of good men in this world who can treat you right.
An abusive man is a person who makes you consistently knows how to put you down. He could be emotionally abusive, physically or mentally regardless of the method he is using, he will definitely cripple you emotionally.
There are days he makes you feel so amazing and he is sweet, he stops cheating, he stops being violent buys you flowers and then he becomes a devil at some point. You have hope that you can change him but here are the reasons you cannot.
1. He will always get someone who is willing to be abused
You’re not enough reason for him to change honey. Part of the reason he loves you is that you’re his victim. He can abuse you at any time and do whatever he feels like with you, the minute you try to be different he will not be happy. Such men are usually very charming so am guessing many women love him so why should he struggle with you when he can change you like a diaper?
2. They are usually full of excuses
Remember how R Kelly was trying to say that he is the way he is because he was sexually abused as a child? Well that’s BS! However, an abuser will always have excuses, he will make you feel like it’s your fault and that he is violent and abusive because of you but they are never ready to take care responsibility.
3. Cause change has to start from within
You cannot change someone someone has to change when they want to change. An abuser will make you feel like they are remorseful and will give you some crocodile tears only to later act the same way they did. For them change is temporary so they can keep you and put you right back where they want you.
4. They are usually very selfish
They do things for themselves, if they have been this way for a long time the chances of them changing are slim. They want to keep you around not so they can make you happy but so they can continue abusing you for their own gain. They need you because they are broken and you are the only punching bag that will make him feel better.
5. You can’t change him because you have become poisonous too
When you sit in shit for too long it stops stinking, you become used to the situation. So when he hits you, or calls you names or makes you feel shitty it starts being normal for you. You have changed so much to suit him that if you ever ask him to change he won’t understand why yet you have already been accommodating him.
Never be a crutch to someone who is abusive because they never change. Once you have already shown a man that you can tolerate his abusive nature then they will not expect anything less from you. He will beat you, insult you for as long as you stay with him. He will take you through a ruthless cycle, when you will be happy for some time and then again he breaks you in a way that takes too much time to fix. Keep away from an abusive man you are not responsible for his behaviour.