Finding your person is no easy task. And sometimes it feels like the dating pool is filled with too many frogs, not nearly enough princes (thanks, Meghan Markle).So, I set out to find out what women are (and should!) be looking for in Mr. Right.
1. Chemistry
Don’t feel bad the next time you turn someone down because “the chemistry” just isn’t there. Women are drawn to men based on attraction. “We think to ourselves, can we carry on a conversation with this person? Do I feel energized when I talk to this person? These are qualities that help to establish a foundation, to form a deeper connection, and a relationship with this person,” she says.
2. Vulnerability
It’s difficult to build a relationship with someone who’s closed off. “A man who is vulnerable has a counter-cultural willingness to step away from the power position which men are raised to feel comfortable being in,” she adds. “For the partnership to happen, a man has to be willing to be vulnerable and he has to open his heart in order for that to happen.” And heads up, ladies: this goes for you too.
3. Stability
This is a big one, because it has three parts. “Stability means emotionally stable (so not flying off at the handle), then economically stable, and also relationally stable,” she tells me.
If you’re not familiar with the third part, she says that it means you can count on him to be predictable, reliable, and that he’s essentially someone you could rely on if you owned a home together or had a child with him.
4. Equality
If you’ve ever felt less than or silenced in a relationship, it might be because your partner wasn’t treating you as their equal. “The cultural discrepancy between equality that’s been around for thousands of years where women were unequal to men in every way, socially, economically, politically sexually, that’s changing,” she says. “Now women want to be seen as equals to men and not have to compete with men for dominance.”
5. Emotional Presence
That means someone who stays focused on the talker — rather than looking at their cell phone or other distractions — but this goes both ways. A woman should be emotionally present while her significant other is talking, and she should expect him to do the same in return. But being present also includes being responsive.
Meaning when someone texts or calls their partner, the other person should respond as soon as possible, or let them know if it’s going to be awhile before they can respond.
6. Curiosity (About Her!)
It’s important that you feel like your partner is interested in you. ” [couples] are advised to shift from judgement to curiosity. Instead of judging a person about their actions and what they do, be curious about it. Wonder why they dress that way or why they act like this,” she says.
However, she warns that you don’t want a person who interviews or grills you in conversation.