Sometimes there’s a clear cut sign that you’re ready to end your relationship with a long-term partner. For example, if your partner betrays your trust or treats you poorly in any concrete way, it’s probably a sign that you should consider leaving. That being said, the signs you’re ready to break up with your partner are not always easy to detect. A recent RedditAskWomen thread asked ladies to share how they knew it was time to move on, even when nothing major was necessarily wrong.
YOU’RE CONSTANTLY PUTTING THEIR NEEDS ABOVE YOUR OWN.
Not knowing when to let go used to be my No 1 problem. It was a combination of low self worth and fear of the unknown / being alone. I got stuck in some very poor and one dangerous relationship because of them. I stuck with them so far past the expiration date and made myself miserable.
I was raised to not be selfish. I think a lot of that is very Asian, too (my other is Vietnamese). Being selfish is a terrible thing. So I think that factored in and I would put the other’s happiness above my own to my detriment. Except the other person wasn’t happy either – one ex was abusive and impossible to please and another ex was a man child I had to wait on hand and foot.
YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE FIXING THINGS.
This is going to sound really calloused, but I just stopped finding anything he did as funny or cute. Instead, he annoyed me constantly. The little quirks that I had been able to overlook before were suddenly slammed in my face all the time and I couldn’t handle how immature he was.
More tellingly, I told him I felt like I was starting to not love him anymore. He tried to fix things and I…genuinely…didn’t really want to. There had been too many things between us that had made me so unhappy. There were even more things that made it clear to me that we just weren’t compatible in the long run.
YOU STOP CARING.
Was with my ex for around 6 months, and put up with all his crap because i “loved” him. Near the last month or so i fell out of love with him. I was just looking for an excuse to end it.
Once you realize you don’t care anymore, that’s when you end it. It got to the point where i was so used to him treating me like shit, that i didn’t even have a reaction to it. That’s when i got out of there. If it gets to the point where you’re an emotionless robot then it’s time to go.
There doesn’t have to be a scandalous thing to end a relationship. Of course sometimes it’s the person own personal issues that make them sabotage their relationship. Like getting cold feet over the subconcious fear of getting dumped. Good to check why you feel what you feel to prevent future regret. But just because someone is a supportive partner and a good person does not mean there’s enough compatibility or love to stay in the relationship. I left my ex because we both fell out of love, although we still loved each other as friends. We were too young and inexperienced to work on getting things better more than we already had. We grew apart and became people who couldn’t even be very close friends with.
YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE YOU CAN HAVE A REAL CONVERSATION WITH THEM.
I broke up with my SO two months into our engagement, I probably should have let go sooner but I guess my head cleared when I realized I would potentially be spending the rest of my life with him. Some signs I listened to:
I started rationalizing getting married to him by thinking “I can always divorce him.” Which is a giant red flag. You shouldn’t already be thinking of a way out before your wedding.
THEY DON’T NECESSARILY MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER.
I think a lot of people forget about “compatibility” in relationships; instead waiting for some catastrophe to end it. You can like someone and not be compatible. You need to have things in common. You need to see each other as equals. Arguments shouldn’t revolve around power struggles. Arguments should get resolved, too, not just die in the wind.
This person should make your life better. If you feel life is about the same with them in it, then they’re probably more of a friend than an SO.
YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE PUTTING IN ANY EFFORT.
When it’s felt like too much work and no giving back in equal weight.
My ex and I broke up last month. I was still into him when this happened but I knew too well that it’s best to let go.
Sent him messages, waited days to get a reply.
Asked to video chat after his work (we were on LDR), he said yes, I called you, but never did.