Be ready when your EX comes back calling

Cosy weekend chats

It depends, and it’s not as easy as if it’s a good idea or bad idea. I recommend asking, Who is the ex? Why did you break up? Have the issues that caused the break up been resolved? Are you getting back together because you learned something about yourself, and feel differently?

Or because you’re lonely? Do we feel pressured? Do we actually want to be together, or is it just hard to meet someone new? Do we know how to sit with our sense of sadness about the relationship ending, or not?

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Ask yourself and the other person what’s different between now and when you were together last, and what the plan is to make changes if that is necessary.

If need be, it could be a good idea for each person, if appropriate, to take ownership of the mistakes they made previously. Think about being able to identify how you want things to be different this time.

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This was something really difficult to discuss: how our breakup hurt my feelings, and how we never truly talked about what had happened between us. Those were tough conversations, but we had them even though they were deeply painful. Each discussion has helped us build more trust and a stronger relationship.

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It can feel so good to be with someone who understands us, who we have a history with, but we end up getting stuck in the same old patterns, and it’s not healthy for us to be together. 

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