48-Hour Political Circus Kenyans Have Been Treated to Already This Week

Related image

There is no other country I would rather live in than Kenya! Seriously. It’s the only country whose citizens enjoy a 24-hour political circus, albeit, while paying for it through the nose.

It’s expensive, but, hey, who is counting the money? This is a rich country! We can afford to let food security projects gobble over Sh20 billion and then abandon it and still afford to pay bankrupt companies upfront money to build imaginary dams. That’s how we roll!

This is an amazing country! Everybody has a debt of Sh100,000 but the most important subject at the moment is that I saw President Uhuru Kenyatta driving the now famous Mercedes G-Wagon on Thika road on Saturday!

Oh, that and the fact that lions are now guarding Governor Mike Sonko’s grass at roundabouts! The life-size lion figures are intended to keep would-be grass steppers at bay because, in Nairobi, you never know, that could be a real lion.

Sonko says he is beautifying Nairobi from his pocket. A kind gesture from the governor, a self made millionaire who made his money…uuumm… wait… how did Sonko make his millions? Anyway, who cares?

Nairobi regeneration

The point is he is funding for works that fall under the Nairobi Regeneration Programme, which is well funded. How big a heart can one have? In fact, Sonko is so philanthropic with Nairobi that he even donates his home, one-hour away from Nairobi to conduct official Nairobi business. Anyway, let me be “thinned by mine.”

Last week, Finance Cabinet secretary Henry Rotich had all three meals at the DCI headquarters on two consecutive days as detectives looked for material to continue their ongoing hit TV drama series: Friday Night Arrests.

After all the 301—nothing strange about that number—questions were asked about his integrity and involvement in the multi-billion Kimwarer and Arror dams mega-scandal, the CS is back to the office this morning to continue his duties that include borrowing Sh100 billion to service the first installment of a loan granted earlier by another entity for other projects that are either imaginary or have “drank water!” Yes, he’s still in office.

Current technology

While Rotich was trying to remove his hand from the cookie jar, governors were gathered in Kirinyaga to play slides of their own versions of the #TenYearChallenge, almost four months after it stopped being a thing. Yes, these are the people you expect to keep up with current technology and make your life better at the village level.

Meanwhile, The Handshake turned a year old on Friday and just like any one year old child (my daughter also turns one today), it has everybody confused about what it wants and keeps leaving a foul smell.

But, unlike a one-year old child, this one doesn’t seem to be making its intended progress. What is clear is that it has achieved the exact opposite of what it was created for—bringing the country together in unity of purpose.

The Handshake has taught the country many a lesson, for instance, that deputy President William Ruto a.k.a The Hustler, doesn’t smoke weed and that compared to Jubilee, ODM’s Kisirani Kasarani was child’s play and most importantly that if your marriage is already on the rocks, marrying a second wife who used to be your current wife’s best friend is not exactly a move engineered towards saving your marriage. If you know you know.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *