Here’s Why Married Kenyan Women choose to live in misery

black couple

Travel around Kenyan and you’d be shocked at the number of women in Miserable Marriages. From Submission, to general Patriachy in the society and Family, Kenyan Women endure a lot.  Most of those you’ll find are going through domestic violence as well as Adult Abuse. It really paints a picture as to what really goes on in Marriages.

Dear Kenyan women, I implore you to speak out. You’ve been married for a couple of years and things just aren’t right. This probably means that you’ve persevered through a load of crap. His fully pledged womanizing skills, physical abuse, emotional abuse and overall inhumane behaviour has left you feeling numb. You’re feeling so many things at this moment, debating on when and how to leave this toxic situation.

So whats stopping you from leaving that toxic marriage? The kids! This is a common problem for many women in such situations. The children are not primarily the problem but how you’ll support them once you move out is.

Here are the barriers:
1. You’re financially dependent

Meaning that you depend on him for household maintenance.

2. His paying the children’s school fees and upkeep

Where would you even start as a single mother? Their lifestyle would definitely have to change and you’re not ready for that.

3. His obviously the breadwinner of the family

You’re most probably a housewife and a startup looking to dive into entrepreneurship and still dependent.

The bottom line is that you’re not emotionally, mentally and especially not financially stable to make it on your own and independently with your children. So what do you do? Stay for the sake of the children, well isn’t that the commonality?

More reasons why one would choose to stay

1. To maintain your lifestyle and social stance

2. To maintain your children’s lifestyle and get the best in life as you wouldn’t manage at doing the same alone.

3. Family pressure to try to work it out.

4. Hope that he will change

5. Social shame from the church and married community of friends.

Aren’t these just more excuses though? If you had the financial stability would you still stay? Or do you think he would respect you more? These are the questions that go through a lot of mothers heads. Regardless, circumstances hinder a lot of women in marriage and long-term relationships when children are involved.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *