The trope of the man who shoots his shot then rolls over to sleep is so ingrained in our collective psyche that it may be hard to imagine that there are guys for whom having an orgasm with a partner is difficult or even impossible.
There are a million jokes out there shaming dudes who bust too quickly, so it’s almost weirder to have sex that’s going great to you but since you’re not coming she thinks she’s doing something wrong. I had ever talked to a number of my guy friends who have a hard time getting off some in any context, but typically, only with partners. Some of these guys have difficulties because of situational conditions.
Others, however, blamed the infamous “death grip” or “concrete D,” the alleged condition produced by the fanatic masturbator, wherein one’s D becomes inured to sensation via frequent jerk off sessions. As a result, so the theory goes at least it becomes more difficult to reach orgasm via vaginal sex since most pussies aren’t as tight as a closed fist. Not being able to get off causes some men angst, shame and relationship problems.
Problems can arise in long-term relationships, too. They create frustration all around. Wives or girlfriends feel like they are unattractive or something else is missing, and they feel frustrated because of the pressure to manage the expectations. The same goes for Mark, a 26-year-old delivery driver in Virginia: “It definitely made one of my partners feel insecure like she wasn’t attractive enough.