Mother’s Day celebrations could rekindle the pain of losing your beloved mother.
If your mom is no longer alive, consider this comforting concept: The words “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom” still belong to you. Go ahead and say them. To anyone who deserves them.
No matter where you are today on the “separation scale” with your mom.
And no matter how your heart feels about facing this day without her, try to remember that sadness shouldn’t always get to take up every inch on your emotional shelf. You can decide to feel another way.
On Mother’s Day — especially if your mother’s absence is trying to take up more space in your brain than her presence — you can train your brain to choose happiness. Or at least not totally sad.
Here are a few tips to navigate through this Mother’s Day:
Pick up her pic:
See that framed photo of your mom on the wall or on your desk or sitting on the sideboard? Pick it up and hold it. Take a good, long look. Smile if you want to. Cry if you need to.
Close the door:
Get somewhere quiet, close your eyes, and try to remember something about her that you never want to forget. Take your time with Mom. Tell her you love her. Even tell her you miss her.
When you’re ready, open it:
Open the door, open your heart and open your mouth. Talk about your mom. Your words will not only help sustain the memories but they’ll build a living bridge between the generations. Make sure you invite the little ones in, too. They’re the ones who’ll take up the charge long after you’re gone.
Listen to others:
Other people are missing their moms today, too. Give them a voice. Invite someone you know to share the living memories of their mom. Ask them good questions. Then listen carefully while they speak.
Show love. Never pity.
Who among us hasn’t faced that awkward Mother’s Day moment when it comes time to greet the bereaved mother whose child is deceased or the best friend who miscarried three years ago? Just show them love. To not acknowledge Mother’s Day might sting them even more. Pity is never pretty.