Now, in theory, this sounds pretty splendid. But just as with any other approach to neatening up your life, it can be taken too far. Plenty of Fish warns that some people will adopt Kondo-ing in the wrong way, seeing any moment that isn’t joyful as a sign they should ghost their partner without warning.
According to Plenty of Fish, Kondo-ing is the new dating trend we all need to be aware of. It’s a simple concept. Just as Marie Kondo recommends that you ditch any object that doesn’t ‘spark joy’ as a way to tidy your home, Kondo-ing means dumping anyone who isn’t bringing joy into your romantic life.
So, that situationship you’re in with someone who won’t commit, but expects you not to date anyone else? Doesn’t sound very joyful to us. Bin it. That guy who makes you feel rubbish about yourself every time you chat for longer than 10 minutes? Dump him.
Relationships should make you happy, of course, but it’s unreasonable to expect non-stop joy day in, day out. Long-term relationships are in part about being there for each other during the tough moments – bailing at the first hint of a low mood doesn’t sound particularly kind.
There’s also the question of how you dump those who don’t spark joy. Unlike your old university essays and a T-shirt you’ve never worn, people can’t just be left at the charity shop – they’ll likely demand some kind of explanation for why they’re being dumped, and they deserve better treatment than bits of unnecessary junk from your attic.
Ghosting might be okay if you’re casually dating or realised they don’t spark joy a few weeks in, but if your Kondo-ing leads to the end of something more serious, it’s not fair to just cut and run.
