Making hard decision is probably one of the hardest thing some people fear to make- either by fear of making wrong move or fear of regret.
However, deciding on whether to break up with someone you feel tired of is one of the best thing to do.
Not to mention, once you form an attachment to a person, you can’t help but wonder what your life would be like without them.
Will your bed feel empty at night? Will you miss their smell? What if no one else is ever able to love you the way that they did? And what if you wake up one day and realize that you’ve made a massive mistake?
Very often, this is just your insecurity talking. Regardless, many of us tend to feel unresolved about whether to pull the trigger on a breakup.
If you’ve been considering a breakup but are still feeling some semblance of doubt about it, look for any of these key signs that ending your relationship is the right thing to do.
YOU’RE SIMPLY AFRAID TO BE ALONE
One of the first questions to ask yourself is why you’re staying in your current relationship. Can you think of some valid reasons? If not, it might be time to face the fact that you may only be staying in your relationship because you’re afraid of being alone.
In other words, your partner could be filling a void, which could explain why you’re terrified that you may feel empty when they’re gone.
Ultimately, not wanting to be alone isn’t a good enough reason to stay in a relationship, which is why it’s important to explore other possible justifications for trying to make yours work.
For example, you might realize that your SO has been supportive of you during challenging times, that you share multiple interests and goals, or that you communicate very positively with each other. If that’s the case, then you could very well still have a relationship worth working at.
YOU’RE WAITING FOR THEM TO CHANGE
It’s normal to want to improve your partner, and hope that they can do the same for you. For example, many couples may work on enhancing their communication quality, or how they deal with conflict. Indeed, people can change to a certain degree.
But if you’re waiting for your partner to alter their core values or morals, or to change their mind about how they envision the future (i.e., getting married and/or having kids) then you may have a valid reason to consider a break up.
YOU KEEP WONDERING WHO ELSE IS OUT THERE
When you’re in a happy, healthy relationship, you won’t likely find yourself pondering the other fish in the sea — at least not often.
Of course, it’s normal to have occasional doubts about how your partnership will play out longterm (hence the common experience of cold feet before getting married), but if you’re frequently wondering whether there’s someone better for you out there, that can be a major red flag.
For instance, are you tempted to re-download your dating apps just out of curiosity? Do you find yourself idealizing other relationships you observe, and wishing you were dating someone else? Ever fantasize about your ex?
The bottom line is this: If you’re already mentally moving on by dreaming about your other potential options, then it’s possible that you may not regret ending things with your current partner.
YOU DON’T TRUST THEM
Trust is arguably the most important factor in a relationship. So no matter how much you love someone, if you feel like you can’t trust them, the odds that you can sustain a healthy relationship are slim.
YOU DON’T KNOW — OR DON’T LIKE — WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE
We all have the tendency to change a little bit in a new relationship. Maybe we alter our hygiene habits, or take up some new interests. Ideally, the changes we observe in ourselves are positive.
But take note if you don’t feel good about yourself anymore, or you don’t like who you’ve become. Especially if you’ve been with someone for a long period of time, these alterations to your personality, values/morals, and habits can be so subtle and gradual that you don’t even notice they’re happening until you don’t recognize yourself anymore.
Hesitance to go through with a breakup is totally typical — after all, choosing to detach yourself from someone who has played a major role in your life as of late can be scary.
“If you’re afraid you’ll regret your breakup, start calling in support now who can act as a sounding board before, during, and after the breakup.
This will keep you honest about any and all the feelings you’re experiencing but will also keep you accountable to all the positive and necessary reasons you are craving change.
The best thing you can have post-breakup is someone who will let you air your fears — and who can validate them with you — but won’t let you be taken down by them, especially if the fear linked to regret makes you want to return to a relationship that is familiar and easy but that you have ultimately outgrown.”