Crazy tattoos that will make you bury your head

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Disabled tits tattoo

The stories are legendary… errors made when selecting tattoos under duress, heightened emotions, weakened relationships, or substance influence. But in the end, you alone are responsible for your ink. What follows is a gathering of standout people that boast tattoos that everyone will take pictures of… just for all the wrong reasons.

Star Light, Not Too Bright

The undeniable top of the bad idea list goes to this winner, whose drunk-night-out ended with a fantastically poorly done night sky scattered across her mug. Clearly already on the phone planning its future removal before the morning’s end, her facial ink proves the hard truth: when in doubt, try it out with a Sharpie first.

On the bright side, at least for the people around her the stars will be out every night. I wonder if there are any hidden constellations? probably not, that would take too much thought.

When Millennials Take it Too Far

What we have here is a millennial that decided to get their love for all things avocado tattooed on them for life. Apparently, simply posting pictures on Instagram of their avocado toast or letting everyone know how much they love guacamole just isn’t enough. Nope, they have to get it tattooed, and not just anywhere, but their armpit.

Either way, it takes a certain type of person to want to have this overused picture of Marilyn Monroe tattooed on them for life, and something tells me this isn’t their only horrendous tattoo. More likely than not, they don’t even really know who Marilyn Monroe is other than “she’s hot”.

Time of Whose Life?

Alright, there are a couple of potential explanations behind this tattoo. The first is that this is the most ironic tattoo of all time, and this man chose this specific tattoo as an insult to the white power regime. The other is that he’s completely blind and somebody played a very bad joke on him.

Not sure which one is worse. Needless to say, this is a very questionable tattoo no matter what its meaning is and he could get into trouble from multiple different groups walking around with that thing exposed.

#1 Fan

Think she reps Team Meek Mill or Team Drake? What a classy way to show support for your favorite hip hop artist. Surely, Drake himself has stumbled upon this on the internet and his response was probably along the lines of, “Oh sweetie, no. C’mon now, what were you thinking?”

A similar reaction to anyone that has had their day ruined by stumbling upon this definition of a mistake. There’s only one thing that could make this tattoo worse, if it got infected, which it looks like its well on its way to being. Maybe Drake will pay for its removal so he doesn’t have to live with the guilt of you doing that to yourself.

At Arm’s Length

Not even really positive what’s going on here except that tattoo is awful. Pretty sure that’s the screen you see when your computer is about to randomly shut down and you lose everything you were just working on.

This usually makes people want to punch their computer screen, but not this guy, he’d rather tattoo it all over his right arm so he can be reminded of it every second of his life. One would think that with a tattoo like that, this guy may not have the brain capacity to even turn on a computer, let alone restart it, which is why he had to get it tattooed on him.

Checkerboard Face

This guy went so far as to get his entire face inked. It must have been a brutal session to sit through- even his eyelid and lip are tattooed. We hope this guy already found the love of his life, and she loves him regardless because we have a feeling he’s going to have a hard time meeting any women now.

We wonder if he took inspiration from the checkered tapestry in the background.

Down For The Cause!

Sometimes once you’re inked up past the point of no return, you can get away with some crazy tattoos with no questions asked. However, when your skin is as clear as they day you were born and you get “Jeb 4 Prez” tattooed on your neck, it might raise some eyebrows.

Is this for Jeb Bush, maybe a friend running for senior class president? I guess it doesn’t even matter. All this guy can do is hope that some serious beard growing genes run in his family or that tattoo removal technology skyrockets ASAP.

I Mustache-You About Your Tattoo

Something tells me that this isn’t actually a tradition that his entire family participates in. If it is, that must be quite the Christmas card. But hey, at least this isn’t his only face tattoo. He also has a pretty star, and even what looks like a filled in rectangle on his temple.

All kinds of good decisions here. It’s tattoos like this that make me wonder if tattoo artists have any form of moral compass to maybe suggest that he should sleep on it before he decides to get something like this done to his face.

Hooray Meat

So, I’m assuming dating a vegetarian is not on her bucket list, or going to college. Neither is being fit, toned, tanned, or particularly attractive. She’s got this one down!

The hot dog lover guy and this lady should probably get together and scarf down some dogs together, and while they’re at it get some more ridiculously awful meat-related tattoos! It’s a match made in heaven. This lady is a complete meat fanatic, I mean vegans don’t even have such tattoos dedicated to their lifestyle diet.

Bike Wreck

It appears someone has not got the training wheels off their tattoo gun just yet. Hopefully, that was just a test run with Sharpie or something. Nevertheless, nowadays, this tattoo could be a hipster’s dream. Rugged yet simple, a great discussion piece to spark up any conversation at your local gin bar.

Whoever got this done also probably has a minimalist arrow running down their wrist, or an infinity sign on one of their fingers. They also probably spend their evenings at “secret” art shows with equally as impressive art pieces as their tattoo.

Hop On

And just when we thought the tramp stamp couldn’t get any worse. This tattoo speaks volumes about this poor woman’s past, and something tells me it’s a lot worse than just daddy issues. No training wheels? No problem.

Just grip onto her incredibly well-done tramp stamp and hold on for the ride of your life. She can only make it about 5 miles before she needs a smoke break, though. Also, is that a wedding ring I see? If so, I pray that this couple makes the adult decision to not spread their genes any further.

Chuck Taylor Forever

Either this person really, really, REALLY likes red high top converse, or they’re in the middle of the process to becoming a real-life cartoon character. No matter what the answer is, this tattoo was a mistake.

They could’ve just gotten a simple All-Star logo somewhere on their body to commemorate this timeless show, but no, they had to actually have it tattooed on their foot. Also, if you’re going to go this far, you might as well get the whole shoe tattooed.half of it is missing so it looks dumber than it already is.

Eye Want A New Mom!

You know a tattoo is a fail when even a newborn baby recognizes how bad it is. This infant can’t seem to tear his or her new eyes away from the circle that’s permanently inked around Mom’s eye.

That’s a real look of shock there! To be fair, this new mom probably looks a lot better when she’s fully made up and in character, but her tat really doesn’t seem to fit into this photo of an otherwise beautiful and natural scene. I bet the baby is a little nervous about whether it will be expected to get a matching tattoo.

You’ll “Roo” the Day

Nothing like some good old-fashioned Australian patriotism. Once again, this person could have gotten their point across so much more effective and tastefully if they had just kept it simple or maybe asked for a little bit of advice from a friend.

I mean, come on, the two tattoos are two completely different shades, and those stars are so 90’s. Perhaps, the most hilarious part of this masterpiece is not the kangaroo, nor the love of pointed emblems, but that the shape of the stars actually, just barely, resembles Australia. If you squint, mate.

The Disabled Nipple

This is one messed up decision. The subject and location are both questionable. I’m going to assume this guy is in a chair himself and isn’t making fun of others who are. But maybe I’m giving him too much credit and he’s a jerk who makes fun of handicapped people.

Why the nipple man, why? There are no many other locations on a person’s body that could make this a meaningful tattoo. Now, not only do people have to see your thoughtlessly placed tattoo, but now they’re eyes will be diverted to your nipple, jerk.

Nightmare Fuel

What better way to celebrate a bad decision then by tattooing the result of one. Britney’s mega-meltdown, umbrella-swinging, head-shaved freak out memorialized for the ages. The acne in her teeth is primo, too! This tattoo isn’t just bad, it’s downright horrifying.

This is the stuff nightmares are made of. This is the kind of thing crawling around in the seventh circle of hell while you’re forced to shave it’s head alongside Judas for eternity. While everyone else is startled by this tattoo, do you look at your skin and smile? I bet you do.

I Like Turtles (A Little Too Much)

No better way to wake up every morning than having a surprised Michelangelo on your honker. He looks equally as surprised to be on this guy’s nose than people who first see this tattoo.

At least the tattoo is kind of done well? Okay no, there’s nothing redeemable about this tat. Who even likes the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles anymore? What are you five? You get one face, and you did this to it. I’m sure your mother is really thrilled about your life choices.

Feeling Blue

When your Blue Man group tryouts don’t go as planned, you might be in the mood to do something crazy, like this guy did. Trust him though, it’s a Japanese traditional so it’s totally chill! Although we’re focusing on the tattoo, the eye-piercing simply cannot be ignored.

Did you lose an eye and this is your form of eye-patch? If so, that’s kind of cool, if not, you’re weird. This was probably the guy in college who said he wasn’t looking for a relationship because he feared commitment but then went and did something like this during his mid-life crisis.

Demon or Grandpa?

The rule that tattoos look bad later in life is on full display here. So many questions about this one. The man himself, plus his creepy tattoos, make it seem like he’s about to grow some horns and wings only to fly off into the night sky. Is that a depiction of hell on his forehead?

I wouldn’t be surprised. Also, lets not forget about the classy face swastikas or the random circle tattooed around his eye. Well, on the bright side, this guy looks like he’s in prison, probably for the better. More time for him to add onto his prison tat collection.

Brrr…It’s Cold in Here

There’s no better way to show how cool you are than displaying your favorite frosty treat on your face. Slushies, ice cream cones, Italian Ice, it all looks cool man. Gucci Mane’s lyrics, “Tattoos on my face it’s my face not yours” have some serious meaning here, and at least he owns his interesting face tats.

The only question here is why he decided on such a poor quality tattoo when he has more than enough money for a better one. Yet, considering his past criminal record and rap lyrics, I don’t think anyone is going to be telling him it looks bad anytime soon. Keep doing you, Gucci.

Soup’s On

The bad armpit tattoo tradition continues. What happened to leaving some things up to the imagination? And is that an ONION? I wouldn’t want to advertise an onion odor anywhere near my pits.

Also, I didn’t want to go here, but I think that a whole onion tattoo would have at least helped to avoid any misunderstanding of the tattoo at first glance, if you catch my drift. Regardless what the tattoo even is, there’s really no explanation for any type of pit tat, especially of the onion variety.

Squeeze ‘Em Good

Back at it again with the clever nipple tats! Not only did he get a tattoo of a giant shellfish on him while incorporating his nipple, but he also got a tattoo of one of the ugliest shellfish around.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good lobster tail, but I’ll pass on having one blasted across my shoulder and chest for life. It also looks as though it could have started out as a giant koi fish, but somewhere along the way he went, “Wait! Wait! I just got a way better idea!”

Evolution of a Tattoo

The subject matter and tattoo are on the same track…in progress. Darwin himself would be proud of this ink. Perhaps a little confused as to why so many modern humans receive such dumb tattoos though.

However, I think he forgot to add himself in between neanderthal and man, right in the spot where people with that amount of brain capacity get tattoos like this.

Vroom Vroom

These planes seem to be angry, and dive-bombing down towards something, just not quite sure what. Surely, there’s some great meaning behind these two planes forever present on her once clean chest.

Her grandfather that she never knew was probably a pilot in World War II, or her boyfriend of four months may just have applied to the Air Force Academy. Aside from the tattoos themselves, the positioning of them is another aspect deserving of discussion. One of the plane wings is disappearing into her left armpit, maybe there’s another tattoo under there as well?

No words

I enjoy a bit of humor as much as the next guy but really can’t help feeling sad for this chick. Even if her current significant other finds this tat amusing, chances are that the next one won’t.

And it’s nothing but a turnoff when you’re trying to get busy with someone and end up coming face-to-face with a giant steaming turd, complete with swarming flies? I hope this woman knows that skin grafting is a thing, because if I were her, I’d be saving up for an entirely new back.

Yes?

I really do hope that super lucky girl Nina said yes, or this poor guy has to live with this rejection for the rest of his illiterate life. Hopefully, after she gave him her answer, she took this struggling individual back to finish his GED and maybe brush up on his spelling.

I’m also surprised that he didn’t provide her with a “yes” and “no” checkbox’s which she personally got to fill in with a tattoo gun provided for her. That would have really helped to seal the deal on this beautiful union and make it official.

Moobs

Wow! This guy looks so hardcore, I’d never want to mess with him! If you come too close he might slap you with one of his fearsome man boobs. But in all seriousness, was there any inspiration behind this tattoo, or did he find the stupidest tattoo in the book and asked to have it blown up onto his chest?

We can see his body is riddled with tats, and after seeing his sweet chest piece, I wouldn’t mind seeing whatever other lifelong mistakes this poor fella has made.

Don’t Do It

I know that Nike’s and other sneakers have grown ridiculously expensive, but a tattoo is just not going to give you the athletic support that an actual shoe will. Save the tat money and invest in a pair of real trainers.

However, apparently, this guy wants to display his athleticism even when he’s not on the court or at the gym, proving that he’s always on the grind. Also, this tattoo would only really be appropriate on somebody’s body if let’s say maybe they started the company or had some sort of personal investment in the Nike brand. But hey, that’s just me.

Just When You Thought You’d Seen it All

There seem to be a lot of misogynistic tattoos out there, but this one is just over the top. This one makes clever use of this buffoon’s armpit and turns it into a Rated X nudie scene. Classy.

I hope you got a lot of fist bumps from your bros for this one, dude. I’m sure after you had this baby slapped on you all of the ladies started fighting over you at the club. If worst comes to worst, hopefully, this visual diagram so elegantly tattooed on your arm will help to speed up the process when you have “the talk” with your teenage son. I’m sure you’ll make a great father figure someday.

The Best of Chairs

We all have our favorite chairs. They’re in the best spot in the house, they’re comfortable, maybe even nostalgic at times. Yet this guy loves his chair so much that he decided to commemorate it by getting a tattoo of it. Not everyone’s first choice, but certainly an interesting one.

When the chair is long gone, it’s legacy will live on your arm forever. Hopefully, there is a story behind this chair and has more meaning than this person simply “liked” it or thought it looked cool, so he figured he might as well get a tattoo. Oh, the questions I have.

Plan Ahea-

As if this person probably hasn’t gotten enough grief for this egregious tattoo, I’m going to give them some more. This image is so full of irony it hurts. I don’t know whether I hope it was meant to be ironic or it was actually a mistake. Seriously, how hard is it to mess this up?

Was this person so set on getting “Plan Ahead” on their hands that they took the loss on the “D”, or is this plain and pure stupidity? It’s legitimately concerning to me that there are people like this person walking among us on this earth.

Two-Headed Monster

I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say that’s a tattoo of a baby’s face. At least I hope it is. I wonder what was going through this guys mind when he had the brilliant idea to get this creature-looking child with beady little black eyes on his face. Nothing probably, but that can’t be unusual for this person.

A nice touch of the tattoo is also how it partially goes onto his earlobe without any real reason to, except to make it look even dumber than it already does. Congratulations on the kid man, good luck with the rest of your life.

Pit Crew

The rednecks are back at it again! Nothing tops off a day at the NASCAR races better than copious amounts of light beer and greasy food. However, I do like this guy’s approach to his tattoo.

He’s totally comfortable with himself and his body, so he’s decided to have a little fun with it. Show this tat to any guy at a bar and before you know it you’ll have a cold beer in your hand. Clever, tactical and funny. I like this guy. Something tells me he’s also been training for years to reach this specific body type so he can get that tattoo.

Maybe School is What You Need

It looks like this newly inked person dropped out of school, bought a tattoo gun, and got to work on himself. If they really thought he was too cool for school I hope that they know that they spelled school wrong which most people know how to spell by second grade.

Also, people tend to know how to draw better than that by the time they’re in third grade. Come to think of it, this may the unfortunate situation in which a child got their hands on tattoo gun. In reality, it was probably just another fool with a bright idea to get a tattoo.

The Night King

This tattoo very well might be the influence behind George R.R. Martin’s white walker characters in the Game of Thrones series. The facial structure, the bright blue eyes, it’s all there. Why it’s on the back of this guy’s head, I have no idea, but I can definitely see the humor in it.

Honestly, this dude seems to be rocking it confidently, incorporating his hair and everything. it looks like he made the best out his situation and I applaud him for it. I’d probably ask to take a picture with him if I saw him on the street.

Yes…You Are

I wish I could make out the tattoo on his arm more clearly, but the “STUPID” across his forehead says enough. They used to brand people with similar labels in the Middle Ages as a punishment, but it looks like he did it for fun!

At least he saved everyone the time of discovering that he’s stupid without him even having to open his mouth. Also, it appears that he’s drinking a beer in the car which is stupid, and he doesn’t even know how to drink from a bottle, further proving that stupid is as stupid does.

Everything’s For Sale

This mother of the year auctioned off space on her forehead on eBay. The highest bidder was GoldenPalace.com, who paid $10,000 to tattoo their URL on her forehead. She desperately needed money to pay for her kid’s Private School.

Although the tattoo artist tried to talk her out of it, she insisted. Although surely there are easier ways to make $10,000 than ruining your entire life, what’s done is done. The kids probably would have turned out just fine in public school. Yet, if this isn’t motherly love, I don’t know what is. Only the best for the kids.

Not Quite Famous

It is a very bold move to get a misspelled tattoo proclaiming that you’re finally famous when nobody even knows who you are. Although technically, now she’s finally famous enough to be a part of this slideshow of horrendous tattoos that make you want to leave this planet if that’s what she means.

Considering her pose, and the way she is showing off her new ink, I’m willing to be that she put this up on social media to show to all of her other trashy friends.

Game On

Hmmm I don’t get it. Is this a cheat code or something, or is this girl unnecessarily obsessed with the now far outdated Game Boy? I don’t even think that’s a Game Boy color, not to mention it looks like it was colored in with colored pencils rather than a tattoo gun.

The arrows aren’t even color coded which just makes this whole tattoo confusing. Also, I didn’t want to bring it up, but why is her belly button so high up on her stomach? It’s distracting from the real issue at hand, her tattoo.

No Big Deal

Super cliche saying, check. Terrible tattoo placement, check. Avoidable misspelling, check. Awful font, check. A lifetime of regret, check. This guy covered all of the bases on this one. He’s right, no dream is too big, however, sometimes one letter can be too big for your tattoo.

This really is unfortunate considering that he probably got this tattoo as an excuse to take of his shirt the next time he goes paintballing with his boys. Now he has to endure a lifelong string of insults about his terrible grammar and poor decision making.

Bloody Hell

To put it simply, there really is no excuse for this tattoo. I don’t care if it was a dare, or somebody lost a bet, this should not be permanently inked onto somebody’s body no matter what.

The person that has this or anybody involved with it in any way should seriously reconsider what they are doing with their life. Not that there’s anything wrong with the female biological processes, there just seems like some things that don’t need to be tattooed on someone’s body and this is one of them.

Beef Curtains

I can only imagine the polite, woman-appreciating gentleman who got this insult of a tattoo etched permanently onto his body. This tattoo oozes classiness and even has cute little blue ribbons to make it look cute.

If some girls have daddy issues, this guy definitely has mommy issues. Also, why are the windows shattered and covered with spider webs and flies? Am I missing something? I hope one day he finds his soul mate with a tattoo of aged, droopy, and withered set of testicles on her lower back area. Tit for tat.

Bet Gone Horribly Wrong

No way this wasn’t the result of a drunken bet. I don’t care how in touch with his masculinity this guy is, a tat like this is sure to cause a whole lot of good-natured ribbing with his colleagues.

The one upside of this tattoo is that he hardly ever has to see it, however, he’s forever going to hear whispers behind his back when he’s at the beach, or bending down to fix someone’s toilet. Also, I guess this cute little butterfly is better than seeing than what we usually assume we’re going to see in a picture like this.

Obsessed

I thought it was common knowledge that doing laundry is one of the top five worst things to do on this planet. Most people could go the rest of their lives without hearing or seeing a washing machine ever again. Some people even pay services to come and get their dirty laundry and have it returned to them clean and folded.

Not this person, it appears they love doing laundry so much that they figured a tattoo was necessary in order to show the world. It’s certainly not the best tattoo, but we need people like this out there that can do the laundry for the rest of us normal people.

Thank you?

Am I supposed to be thankful for something? The sagging skin, patchy stomach hair, or the grotesque and hideous tattoo? What is that thing on the left, an earthworm? Assuming that this tattoo is a sexual reference,

I legitimately feel sorry for any individual that has had the unfortunate experience of knocking boots with the fella. I mean, the guy looks like he works in an auto body shop and hasn’t showered in a few days. Not to mention those stars just scream success. If you ever find yourself face-to-dace with this tat, my recommendation would be to go get tested.

Regret

I’m sure you do my friend. Not only is this tattoo in a hard to cover up spot, the ink looks like it was written in sharpie, and the font looks like the writing on the cover of Harry Potter novels.

My guess is that this tattoo was done on a dare. Or maybe it’s the ultimate in hipster irony? Either way, I’m sure it leads to a lot of funny conversations with strangers. 10/10 times when that conversation ends, the other person will walk away thinking, “What an idiot”.

Juge

That’s a perfectly fine belief. I just hope that he believes just as strongly that God is illiterate, because he’ll certainly be pissed when he sees this monstrosity if he happens to be a grammar freak.

I also hope that this devout young man understands that God is not the grim reaper, and that the grim reaper does not appear anywhere in the Bible. What really makes this tattoo even more cringe-worthy is that “Juge” is in bold. That means they went over it several times without noticing that it was spelled wrong. God, if you can hear me, it’s time for another flood.

What A Mess

At first glance, I thought she had used her back as a place for classmates to sign their names. Just like they would in you know, a yearbook. You’ve got a couple of names, a bad sketch, and the cheesy “Peace” message. All that’s missing is H.A.G.S (Have a great summer). This woman also seems like she has a problem with commitment.

There’s a lot of what look like unfinished tattoos that she got bored of so she decided to start another one, and ended up with this masterpiece. This hurts just to even look at.

“Art”

Good lord, what happened here? This man’s face looks like a work of multimedia art. He’s got texture, he’s got color, he’s got the additional metal accents… just like a living masterpiece.

He’s even got the fake scar above and below his eye so he can look like the evil uncle “Scar” from The Lion King. Maybe that’s what he was originally going for until somebody got carried away with the tattoo gun and used his face like a permanent coloring book.

Panda lovin’

I didn’t know that it was possible, but his man-made pandas not look cute. Their bodies look like stuffed animals with their limbs sewn together. Also, it’s highly doubtful this guy knows that the symbol above the tattoo even means. He probably saw it on his favorite MMA fighter and thought it was a good idea to get a matching one. Oh, and throw in some pandas in there while he was at it.

From the sink to the nicely arranged magazine in the background, it’s hard to ignore that this photo looks like it was taken in a public bathroom. I guess he couldn’t wait to get home to show it to all of his friends.

Paint Me Like One of Your French Girls

We don’t know who the lovely inspiration for this tattoo is, but it’d be great to see a picture. For the sake of this individual, I sincerely hope that this looks nothing like the actual subject.

She looks like she’s had one of her hands re-attached, brushes her teeth with ink, and hasn’t been to the gym in a few weeks. I’m sure this lady broke up this guy when she saw his representation of her, as she should. This tattoo is not just an insult to this guy’s body, but the lady as well.

Last Laugh

To give this guy a little credit, at least he was trying to put down the Nazi party rather than actually having their hateful symbol emblazoned on his chest. Yet, no matter the good intentions behind this ink, it backfired incredibly hard.

There’s still a swastika on his chest even if it is surrounded by four “LOL’s” which still doesn’t really make any sense. Out of all the anti-Nazi tattoos you had to choose the one that has a swastika? Come on man, you can do better than that. I’d keep my shirt on at all times if I were you. Also, nice chest hair, bro.

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