Marriage: A union of two or simply a Pyriamid scheme!!

Unlike men, a woman caught “in action” would defend herself by bringing up all the mistakes her boyfriend or husband has ever done since birth.

She will turn around the story to justify why she allowed another man to undress her, spice up her intimate moments, take her to the moon and back and for some few minutes, make her forget that she’s married or dating someone else.

In today’s world, men spend all their time, energy and resources trying to impress what they consider the most beautiful woman they have ever seen south of the Sahara. You later visit her parent’s home accompanied by tens of relatives to pay bride price to officially make her your one and only or as some like it prefer “Beautiful Onyinye”.

Soon thereafter, you kick off a harambee from friends, relatives and not a few haters for the biggest wedding party north of the Limpompo.

The wedding stars macho stuff like dozens of Range Rovers driven by the “Who’s Who” in society.  To prove to her that you can also pull big boy moves, draining your savings for a honeymoon to Dubai, Paris, Mauritius or the Seychelles where she takes pictures for her Facebook and Instagram for the necessary Likes, admiration and limelight  

After all the honeymoon and unnecessary excitement expires, reality hits home faster than you can say ‘I do’. That is most men realize that bride price does not transfer intimacy and approval from her to the boy child.

It’s like the fee we pay for ‘Kanjo’ parking in town. You only pay for space, not to own the street. As they say, with a woman she is never yours, it’s only your turn. If you are lucky to find a wife who can never cheat on you no matter the circumstances at hand, bro, thank God because most men out here are victims of an infamous pyramid scheme operating under the name “marriage”.

I’m sure you all have a friend, colleague or relative who cheats on her husband or boyfriend so openly that everyone knows about it except the partner. At times you even begin suspecting she might have blinded the “innocent guy” with juju.

Men will agree with me because at some point they encountered a married woman who’s ready, willing and craving to have a “mpango wa kando”. Such opportunities come once though, like placing a bet!

The only thing that works against the boy child is that as a woman matures her needs gets more but by then the boy child’s intimacy takes a back seat as he is thinking about mortgages and fees.

It is usually sad seeing a man working his butt off to maintain the wife and kids by feeding the cow yet there is another “Kupe” milking it for free. That is why men have a silent code making it taboo to sleep with another man’s wife.

Therefore, dear comrades as the Swahili say “ukioa usiwe sop sop. Ukizembea utamegewa tu! mwanamme ni bidii.”

Boy child if you haven’t invested in yourself and made money to sustain the lifestyle of your wife and children please don’t marry as money is a natural aphrodisiac “Na maskini akipata, matako hulia mbwata.”

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