Valentine’s Day is 48 hours away, and if you’re the fisi in your neighbourhood, it’s normal for you to switch off your phone or feign sickness, right?
Unfortunately, maslay queens have become increasingly aware of this underhand tactic.
So you might just find yourself losing your fine dame to kevo wa bedsitter huko TRM.
And believe you me, no one wants to lose his girl to kevo wa bedsitter.
He might be built like a toothpick, but word of his ravenous conquests spread like wildfire. In fact, if you ever find your girl leaving his studio (duuh, Kevo is a photographer) just call your girl an ambulance right away because she won’t be able to walk 100 metres without her knees buckling!
So fellow boychild, to keep your SQUAD happy on Valentine’s day, here’s what to do.
Divide Your Day According to The Number of Girls You Have
Rule of thumb is, if you have more than five girls on rotation, just quit right now. So divide your day according to the girls who are most likely to sleep over and give it up.
That means your mornings should be reserved for the church girls. You know, the ones that let you hit but only after a couple of weeks of dating. A continental breakfast and a box of chocolates should do just fine!
Afternoons are reserved for the one who will let you hit tomorrow after work, or over the weekend. The ones who believe they are saintly enough kumangwa, but just not on Valentine’s day because they have to go tell their galfriends about the awesome date they had!
And last but not least, the evening is reserved for the freaks. You know, the one that knows their place and gives you some good @ss S&x every time they come to the mansion.
Carry A Kabambe and Wear Shades
Posting our photos with whose phone? I don’t think so. Carry your kabambe for all your rendezvous. Oh, and if you want to take it a little further, wear shades to remain inconspicuous!
Try Out New Joints on the Other Side of Town
For once, you’ve decided to be Indiana Jones, the explorer, and that’s a good thing. No point in bumping into Njeri at your locale. Try out places on the other side of town.